My Own Worst Enemy

If I were a superhero I would need an archnemesis, a supervillain that I could fight. Because what good is a hero if there is no one to opppose him. That is no fun, that is not interesting.

My problem is that my archnemesis knows everything about me, how I think, how I move, my favorites. No one knows me better than this dude and because of his amazing insight he always is a problem.

And that problem is me. I am my own worst enemy. I have an overactive mind that absorbs and retains too much criticism. I am not good at letting things go. When bad or frustrating things happen they linger and the institutional memory of such events crops up at inopportune times and places.

Life is cyclical and so my internal battles with my own inner demons have had their ups and downs. But right now I am feeling beat up. I am searching for the edge of the clouds. I am looking for daylight and right now all I see is darkness.

From past history I know that this will change and that things will get better. But at the moment that offers little to no solace.

I am my own worst enemy.

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2 Comments

  1. Stacey October 24, 2005 at 8:00 pm

    Hang in there big boy. We’ll help you.

  2. Anonymous October 24, 2005 at 6:17 pm

    You seem like a very nice man. Be happy. Here is a cyberhug.

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