Selective Memories

One of the best parts of the blogosphere is the voyeurism. I readily admit that part of the attraction is the chance to pull up a chair and read about your lives. I enjoy the stories because some are things I relate to, some are tales about experiences I’ll never have so I am forced to live vicariously through your words.

And might I add that while I really do enjoy some of these stories, there are some experiences that I never want to have. One day I may blog about that, but today is not that day.

What catches my fancy now are the posts about dating. During the last couple of weeks I have made a point of checking out posts abou dating because I find them to be interesting. Part of what I find so interesting about them is the one sided nature of these posts. That is not a knock or slam against anyone, it is a natural thing. When you only hear one side of the tale it is natural that the perspective regarding what happened may be a little different from that of the other people who were involved.

Dating really lends itself to this because often there are such divergent opinions about how the date went. I know from personal experience and the stories I have heard from friends (both male and female) that you never know just how you are going to be portrayed by the other side.

According to many of my female friends the classic example of the difference in perception is often related to sex. I have heard far too many tales about how he bragged/commented about how good the bedroom activities were while she silently rolled her eyes and wondered if he had a clue.

But I have to tell you ladies that I heard many stories from the boys about how bad you were in bed. What does this tell me? It says that people like to talk. Nothing profound there, just what you can call the nickel comment.

All of this does make me wonder about my past experiences. I wonder how many fond memories I have that are not shared by the others. How many times do we fall prey to selective memories. How often do we censor the things we do not like and leave only the good.

And for that matter how often do we censor ourselves on our blogs so that all we share are the positive attributes. I imagine that it is pretty consistent. Typically we do not introduce ourselves to others by providing a list of strengths and weaknesses.

It could make for some interesting experiences.

Hi I am Jack. I have a great sense of humor, a dysfunctional digestive system and horrible gas, etc. You get the picture. If we introduced ourselves to others this way it would probably establish a different sort of friendship/relationship.

I’d write more but it is almost time to light candles and I have to get the kids ready for Shabbos. See you later.


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  1. Jack's Shack November 27, 2005 at 7:42 am


    I didn’t mean to ignore you, or should I say I faked it. 😉

  2. Jack's Shack November 27, 2005 at 7:24 am


    Thanks for coming by.


    A bloggers love connection. That might be cool.


    You have the best of both worlds.

  3. Stephen (aka Q) November 27, 2005 at 3:02 am

    One discrepancy is recurrent: men say that their sexual partners never fake an orgasm; women admit they do so routinely.

    Of course the cover-up perpetuates the problem. It gets women out of the situation, but it also encourages men to believe they have skills that, in fact, they need to acquire.

  4. Ezzie November 27, 2005 at 1:28 am

    Interesting… we’ve “set up” friends of ours, and sometimes it doesn’t work out. We often get to hear both sides of the story, and they’re actually pretty similar most of the time. It’s sometimes their feelings about what was said/happened, or more often which parts/comments they focus on, that tell the real story.

  5. Neil November 26, 2005 at 2:13 pm

    I also find it amusing how one-sided these stories usually are — especially how bad a date was. I always wish that I could just go to the other person’s blog and read their side of the story — sort of a blogger’s “Love Connection.”

  6. swan_pr November 26, 2005 at 5:24 am

    I might be out of the dating circuit, but I agree with you. And this also applies in our everyday life. as for the voyerism, I like it. It’s a nice change from the news, gossip and politics 🙂

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