Archives for November 2005

The new list has been released. I’ll be nice and not pick on too many people by listing some of these cities.

What the hell is he thinking.

“ONE of the greatest living US writers has praised terrorists as “very brave people” and used drug culture slang to describe the “amazing high” suicide bombers must feel before blowing themselves up.

Kurt Vonnegut, author of the 1969 anti-war classic Slaughterhouse Five, made the provocative remarks during an interview in New York for his new book, Man Without a Country, a collection of writings critical of US President George W. Bush.

Vonnegut, 83, has been a strong opponent of Mr Bush and the US-led war in Iraq, but until now has stopped short of defending terrorism.

But in discussing his views with The Weekend Australian, Vonnegut said it was “sweet and honourable” to die for what you believe in, and rejected the idea that terrorists were motivated by twisted religious beliefs.

“They are dying for their own self-respect,” he said. “It’s a terrible thing to deprive someone of their self-respect. It’s like your culture is nothing, your race is nothing, you’re nothing.”

Asked if he thought of terrorists as soldiers, Vonnegut, a decorated World War II veteran, said: “I regard them as very brave people, yes.”

He equated the actions of suicide bombers with US president Harry Truman’s 1945 decision to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima.”

I cannot support these statements. I cannot support anything that lends credibility, nobility or any sort of moral equivalency to these people.

I loved the original version of the The Poseidon Adventure. It was campy shlock but a hell of a lot of fun with a decent cast. Gene Hackman, Ernest Borgnine and Red Buttons, what could be better. In fact it was so good there is an entire website devoted to it.

And now there is a remake. I am TIVOing it with great trepidation. I have little enough time as it is and to give so much to something so questionable, well I am not sure that it is wise. The critics tell me that I shouldn’t bother. Check out this snippet:

“Sometimes, a critic just wants to write, ”Don’t watch it.” Or, ”NBC, you should be ashamed of yourself.” And leave it at that.

But then how would he vent the frustration of having spent some three hours submitting to an embarrassing remake of the iconic 1972 disaster movie ”The Poseidon Adventure”? So thank you for letting me heal in public, and in return I promise not to use the phrases ”all wet” and ”titanic flop” in reference to this Robert Halmi Jr.-produced sweeps event, which sucks up air tomorrow night at 8 on Channel 7.

I will, however, use the words ”interminable” and ”ridiculous,” because the movie is like a slow amble through a faulty water park. The effects? Not so special. The survivors climb endlessly through a visually illogical soundstage, getting doused and then dodging fires that are as threatening as a gas fireplace on a daytime soap. There’s not a hint of drama to be had when the big boat flips and thousands die — or at least we assume thousands die, since there are only a handful of bodies strewn about. If this represents state-of-the-art film technology, it’s state of the art circa 1960.

Meanwhile, the movie keeps cutting away to a two-bit rescue effort led by Alex Kingston as an intelligence agent. Kingston mans a high-tech room that looks like a dreary basement entertainment center. It’s from that oddly sequestered room that she phones in her performance.

As they move toward safety, the survivors’ relationships are as deep as they would be on an episode of ”Love Boat,” with Steve Guttenberg still trying to seem adult-like as an unhappy husband who hooks up with the boat’s massage therapist.”

Come to think of it watching the Love Boat would have been more enjoyable had they turned it into a disaster flick. Watch Gopher, Isaac and Captain Stubing try and lead a boatful of ‘B’ actors, hasbeens and neverwas through the gauntlet. How much fun would that be.

You can find it here.

Haveil Havalim #45 is up at Mirty’s place.

There are times in which adult life is far less interesting and certainly less fun than childhood. Usually these moments are centered around uncomfortable decisions and monetary issues. In my home it is the monetary issues that drive me up the wall.

It is not so much that I mind having to pay for certain things like the mortgage, it is the nickel and dime effect of the things that surround owning a home, a car and being a parent.

Today I learned that I have a screw in my tire. It is in the tread so in theory it should be easy to repair, but you never know. It could be that there is another object in the tire as well or some other reason why it cannot be repaired and I’ll be forced to purchase another tire. Even if I do not have to buy a new tire this repair will be just another $25 bucks that I throw into the wind.

And I should add that this car received $500 worth of TLC last month. I’d go out and kick the tires because I am aggravated but my boot might mysteriously come into contact with a nail and then I’d be able to say that one tire got screwed by me and I nailed the other. Not a very pleasant scenario if you ask me.

Ok, Ok, that wasn’t very punny but I couldn’t come up with a good way to work rubber into this mess.

My house is another source of financial stress. There are probably 1,765,210 things that have to be done to it. It is fair to say that 99% of these things are minor but in the grand scheme of things if we estimate that the cost of each one of these items $3.69 the sum total is quite large and we all know that most likely these repairs/improvements will cost substantially more.

And none of this takes into account the time element. I am capable and able to do the repair and labor of most of the items on this but I really don’t have the time. Time is the one thing that I never seem to have the most of.

So I sit here at the computer staring at a spreadsheet with a list of items and expenses and I compare that to the statement from the bank and I just laugh. There isn’t enough cash to cover all of these things. It is all so clear, I don’t have enough time or money but I do have an idea.

I am going to auction off my bills on eBay. Someone out there is very interested in taking these on and paying them off for me for no other reason than they saw the auction on eBay and they love to win. Or maybe not.

All I know is that my son has taken to singing John Denver songs. If you close your eyes and listen you can hear him sing:

“Almost heaven, west virginia
Blue ridge mountains, shenandoah river
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze

Country roads, take me home
To the place, I be-long
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads”

Maybe that is the right idea. Maybe I should find a nice country road to drive on and clear my mind. The truth is that it is only money. Life has a way of working out if you let it, but it doesn’t hurt to help it along.