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The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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  • About Jack
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Archives for November 2005

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

November 30, 2005 by Jack Steiner 13 Comments

A quick question for my readers. How many of you have seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show?
And if so, when is the last time you watched it?

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Filed Under: Life

Parents- List Your Child’s Most Irritating Toy/Show

November 30, 2005 by Jack Steiner 10 Comments

Ok parents I have a post that is just for you. There are two parts to it.

Most of our children have received at least one toy that we cannot stand. It may not have always been that way, but sooner or later there is one toy that you just cannot stand.

The second part is tied into television shows. Children can watch the same show 17,987 consecutive times and not get bored. Scientists have proven that many of these same people grew up to watch and participate in The Rocky Horror Picture Show each week. On a side note, I have to make a separate post about this.

In my case I would have to say that the toy that I grew to despise was a talking barbecue. It was loud and obnoxious and in the middle of the night it would suddenly turn on and scare the crap out of me.

It is two am and all of a suddent there is a freaking barbecue yelling at me about not burning the hot dogs. It is a good thing that this thing didn’t exist when I was in college or I can guarantee that it would have caused several people to have a complete breakdown.

As for a television show I would have to say that I learned to love and then hate the Wiggles. The Wiggles who dressed up in costumes that resembled Star Trek uniforms grew to be exceptionally irritating, in large part because I found myself whistling their tunes beneath my breath or singing their songs around the office.

It is a little embarrassing to try and explain why I am singing “Do The Monkey” or “Hot Potato, hot potato.”

What about you? What do you have to add to this list?

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Filed Under: Children

From the News

November 30, 2005 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Record year for hurricanes part of a natural cycle

Natural climate conditions, not global warming, created the record-breaking 2005 tropical storm season, the nation’s top hurricane experts said Tuesday.

A Deadly Kiss


Christina Desforges, a Canadian teenager allergic to peanuts actually lost her life after she stole a kiss with her boyfriend who had just consumed a peanut-based snack. The allergy that affects just over a percent of the population caused the 15-year old to go into anaphylactic shock despite an immediately administered adrenalin shot. The girl eventually died four days after the lethal kiss of respiratory failure.


Berenstain Bears co-creator dead

Stan Berenstain was 82In more than 200 books, the Berenstain Bears, written and illustrated by Stan and Jan Berenstain, helped children for 40 years cope with trips to the dentist, eating junk food and cleaning their messy rooms.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Hate Mail

November 30, 2005 by Jack Steiner 2 Comments

If you buy into the argument that there is no such thing as bad PR I suppose that you could make the argument that hate mail is a good thing for a blogger to receive.

During the two weeks that I have been blogging I have posted somewhere in the neighborhood of 3000 posts. Those 3000 posts generated 19.21 comments and led to the creation of 1,768,987 pieces of hatemail.

If you say that each piece of hatemail contained roughly 125 words you can see that I could easily use those words and create a book the size of War and Peace. I should add that one of my fans told me that “I was a horuble writer and incapeable of writing War and Piece.”

I am rather disappointed that they disappeared because they made me smile. I briefly played around with the idea of writing a screenplay titled War and Piece. It was going to be the tale of this lady and this fellow. The lady had three daughters and the man had three sons and they had this crazy housekeeper. It was going to cover their lives but I couldn’t think of anything funny so I dropped it.

For that matter there was the mail I received in which I was told that I am neither witty nor funny. It was so disappointing. All this time I thought that I was and that if I only learned how to tell a funnier joke than The Aristocrats I would be famous.

A friend of mine wanted me to tell the story about the small start up he worked for and the short man who ran it. He was this pasty faced buffoon who could have starred as the Emperor in the The Emperor Has No Clothes. A diminutive, petulant and punitive man he was a bully who was insecure in his own skin.

I thought about really getting into that and realized that it bored me, but not as much as being stuck in cleveland would.

The interesting thing about hate mail is that so many of the people who send it continue to keep reading me. I am intrigued by that. There is something kind of funny about people who say that they hate you yet refuse to stop reading you. They must be jealous or maybe it is because I own them.

Ok, enough of this.

Filed Under: Blogging

The Politcs of Muhammad Ali

November 30, 2005 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Daniel Pipes has a very interesting column about Muhammad Ali. I was rather disturbed by what Pipes wrote about Ali. In part I was disturbed because I have considered myself to be a fan of his and some of the things in the essay made me shake my head.

Some of what I read was new to me and while I think that Pipes is well educated and informed I wonder about the veracity of these claims. They may be accurate or maybe they are not. If anyone can provide confirmation I would be interested.

Here is an excerpt:

“As he aged, Ali did become more devout, but in unfortunate directions. He declared himself against “the entire power structure” in America, which he declared was run by Zionists who “are really against the Islam religion.”

I surfed around and found some other comments that were attributed to him that were far more disturbing and aggressive in their tone.

Anyway, if anyone knows anything more I am interested.

P.S. I am well aware of the circumstances surrounding his refusal to serve in Vietnam, it is the statements about Jews and Zionism that I wonder about.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Reader Feedback- She Thinks that I am a Boy Part 2

November 30, 2005 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

In part one of this series I regaled you with the interesting and informative email I received from a reader who has an obsession with yours truly. Now I present to you the newest remark.

Jack

Only a sick little boy like you would post someone’s private email to you, although I am not offended at all nor surprised. You are very troubled and need some serious therapy. After looking at your blog briefly, I can only say that I am not surprised that you are such
a loser in life.

Why don’t you post your mother’s phone number so that I can call her.

Lynne “Susan Gold”berg
Boca Raton, Florida

My dear Lynne “Susan Gold”berg I am ever so happy that you decided to reply to my post, but I must admit that I am sorely disappointed that you didn’t do so by posting here.

It is gratifying to see that you are so attracted to me that you cannot stay away, especially in light of the text that Bill provided from one of your dear Irwin. Surely you understand that by making contact with me you opened yourself up for analysis.

I am sure that it makes you feel good to call me sick and troubled. If I had embarrassed myself as badly as you have I might want to lash out as well. I might even publish your email for no other reason then I can. It is silly and juvenile but that seems to fit with your modus operandi.

If it pleases you by all means email me or post insults here as I enjoy reading your petty attempts. Perhaps you might even offer something of substance that we can discuss, but chances are that a member of Mensa such as yourself is too advanced for me.

One more thing, will you marry me. I am down on one knee begging you. Please, please do me the honor of being my bride or groom, Lynne is one of those gender neutral names. However I am game for anything, so what do you say.

Will you marry me on a bus? Will you marry me on a train or while walking in the rain? Will you marry me in a car, or sing with me on my guitar.

Oh Lynneeeee Lynn Lynn, you do make me grin. 🙂

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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