I have spoken with a number of you recently about your troubles with the fairer sex. I don’t have these conversations as often as I used to because so many of the fellas are married now. It is kind of surreal to me because ten years ago chasing girls was a major pastime.
You remember. All those parties, nights at bars, set ups and random encounters here and there. Remember how we spent hours in the gym working out and talking about silly things and so much of that was silly. I smile when I think of those moments because those were times in which I reveled in my life and my freedom. That doesn’t mean that I am not happy now because I am. There is nothing better than being a father, but it is a different sort of reward and happiness.
So let us go back to my promise to share some unsolicited advice. It is free so perhaps that is an indication of the value but after a few years of living with women maybe I know a little something that will help you out.
If you really want to have something special the goal is to get inside her head and watch how you end up in her heart. You need to get her to share her thoughts on things and then really listen to what she tells you. And then you need to go from listening to hearing it.
Everyone likes to feel like they are important, that they have value and meaning. You need to let her know that she is special and that she means something to you. And then you need to do it in a way that ensures that not only does she feel special but she is secure that you see her as being special.
The only way I know how to do that is to suggest that you talk, talk, talk. Share your thoughts and feelings. Let her know what you really think and don’t be afraid to be let your guard down.
There is nothing profound there. I am not the first person nor will I be the last to say any of this. All I know is that any time I have let myself go down this path. Any time I have really opened up and risked letting someone hurt me I gained something very special and precious.
So there you have it. Six minutes of free advice. It is up to you to use it or ignore it.