I had trouble falling asleep last night. That is not something that happens very often. Usually I fall asleep very quickly, often before my head hits the pillow. I can go to sleep virtually anywhere and anytime. Give me a pair of dark sunglasses and you wouldn’t know if I was asleep or awake. Ok, the snoring and the drooling would be a big clue that I wasn’t conscious, or maybe not.
Last night was an exception to the rule so I took steps to rectify the problem. I started to count sheep but that is far too easy and not nearly boring enough. So I took a moment to consider what the math geeks do for fun and almost bored myself to sleep thinking about Eigenvectors, derivatives and parabolas. The hyperbolating nature of these sorts of things is dull, but last night it wasn’t quite dull enough.
So there I lay in bed rolling from side to side. I imagined that I was on a tall ship and then I got a better idea and pretended to be Max from Where the Wild Things Are. That helped for a minute, but if you know me you know that I have a plan for almost everything and in this case my plan was so good that it took me less than two minutes to tame the Wild Things.
Scratch another method of trying to go to sleep. I tried thinking about cleveland as I knew that if anything was going to bore me to sleep it would be thoughts of the burning river. Instead it just made me laugh, primarily because I recently read some post lauding the cleveland sports teams. Gales of laughter burst from my lips over this. Just the thought of them thinking that they could win a championship was as funny to me as detroit considering itself a real city.
Finally I came up with this idea for an amazing post about passwords and lines. It was going to build on previous ideas on the topic. There would have been humor. There would have been drama and excitement. There would have been great moments of doubt and fear and a heartwarming tale of how I overcame that. It would have been so good that Oprah would have demanded that I be on the show and that would have been in spite of it being a fictionalized memoir.
I would have toured the country. I would have been on Letterman and Leno. Larry King and I would have exchanged jests and there probably would have even been a ticker tape parade. It was tha good. The elements wee all there.
Sadly this didn’t materialize. It didn’t grow from concept to reality because of one tiny detail. There was one thing that prevented this incredible experience from taking place. Just one little thing.
Right at my moment of glory, just on the verge of my triumph fate played a new card and I fell asleep.
Somewhere during the quiet moment of the late evening and the early morning that perfect post was lost. Now I have nothing but fragments of the idea. Tiny bits of fairy dust that offer echoes of promise but no map of how to put them together.
And now I stare at a keyboard that mocks my self induced amnesia. Thus it is for those who are wont to emulate Icarus. Fly too high and the wax on your wings may melt and you plummet downwards at ridiculous speed.