It is Not Easy To Open

The image on the right is an example of “clamshell packaging.” It is a type of plastic packaging that is supposed to be easy to open. I am not an expert in the field, but I imagine that the thought process goes something like this:

“It is easy for consumers to see the product. It is easy to open and close blah, blah, blah.”

The blah, blah, blah part is what irks me. Because more often than not Joe in finishing seals the package with some kind of heat process that makes it virtually impossible to open with just your hands.

I know that fellow parents understand this. How many time have you purchased a gift for your son/daughter and then had to spent 27 minutes trying to open it. For that matter anyone who shops at my favorite store (Costco) has faced this demon once or twice. The packaging is just not that easy to open.

Every time I purchase something that is encased in one of these packages I have to mentally prepare myself for battle because I know that it is going to be a struggle to get it open. And on top of that if you have to cut it open you can bet your bottom dollar that the freaking thing is going to have at least one sharp edge. For that matter if you manage to avoid cutting yourself on that edge you should pat yourself on the back.

G-d forbid I ever go to prison I am going to have my family use this material to send me packages because it really would make great material to make a shank out of, but I digress. Given the choice I’d rather digress than regress so I am looking for an egress out of here.

One more thing before I leave. I have been wracking my brain for a way to include gratuitous remark about Benjamin Braddock. So let me conclude by saying that the advice he was given was correct, plastic is the future and the present.

One more comment, “It was the moops!” “Serenity Now!”

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7 Comments

  1. MUST Gum Addict March 15, 2006 at 2:13 pm

    Dave Barry has a spectacular piece on how difficult it is to open bottles of aspirin. He claims he has an idea to stop illegal drug use in America (basically, sell cocaine over the counter but with a “quality seal” on it and cotton stuffed in half the bottle).

  2. Jack's Shack March 15, 2006 at 8:49 am

    SJ,

    That is not a bad idea.

    Tamara,

    Blood is certainly a part of this, or maybe we are all just clumsy.

    Chickadee,

    Chainsaw- not a bad idea.

    CM,

    I hear you.

    Miriam,

    Understood.

  3. miriam March 15, 2006 at 2:41 am

    I use a box cutter, similar to the ones used in the hijacked planes on 9/11. Not that I am in favor of emulating them.

  4. cruisin-mom March 14, 2006 at 11:57 pm

    I want to say just one word to you. Just one word. Are you listening? PLASTICS!

  5. Chickadee March 14, 2006 at 11:24 pm

    I know!!! I don’t think I’ve EVER been able to open these casings like a door. I’ve usually had to go in with a chainsaw to get past the packaging.

    Did you ever notice that this type of packaging is used for knives, boxcutters etc?

    I’m always thinking of the irony when I’m faced with trying to get the exact-o knife out of the packaging.

  6. Tamara March 14, 2006 at 5:56 pm

    Someone created a tool specific to opening this crap; unfortunately I can’t remember the name of it. You also failed to mention the fact that the packaging company and BandAids must be in cahoots because inevitably, after tearing one open, there will be blood.

  7. A Simple Jew March 14, 2006 at 5:48 pm

    I also dislike this stuff!

    Perhaps they should use this material in prisons for solitary confinement. You could encase a person in it and only leave a opening to breathe. …or better yet, make the whole prison out of it!

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