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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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It is Not Easy To Open

March 14, 2006 by Jack Steiner

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The image on the right is an example of “clamshell packaging.” It is a type of plastic packaging that is supposed to be easy to open. I am not an expert in the field, but I imagine that the thought process goes something like this:

“It is easy for consumers to see the product. It is easy to open and close blah, blah, blah.”

The blah, blah, blah part is what irks me. Because more often than not Joe in finishing seals the package with some kind of heat process that makes it virtually impossible to open with just your hands.

I know that fellow parents understand this. How many time have you purchased a gift for your son/daughter and then had to spent 27 minutes trying to open it. For that matter anyone who shops at my favorite store (Costco) has faced this demon once or twice. The packaging is just not that easy to open.

Every time I purchase something that is encased in one of these packages I have to mentally prepare myself for battle because I know that it is going to be a struggle to get it open. And on top of that if you have to cut it open you can bet your bottom dollar that the freaking thing is going to have at least one sharp edge. For that matter if you manage to avoid cutting yourself on that edge you should pat yourself on the back.

G-d forbid I ever go to prison I am going to have my family use this material to send me packages because it really would make great material to make a shank out of, but I digress. Given the choice I’d rather digress than regress so I am looking for an egress out of here.

One more thing before I leave. I have been wracking my brain for a way to include gratuitous remark about Benjamin Braddock. So let me conclude by saying that the advice he was given was correct, plastic is the future and the present.

One more comment, “It was the moops!” “Serenity Now!”

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