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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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More Quotes By Groucho

April 14, 2006 by Jack Steiner

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“A four-year-old child could understand that. Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can’t make head or tail out of it.”
o Duck Soup when reading a treasury department report. (1933)

“You’re a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember, while you’re out there risking your life and limb through shot and shell, we’ll be in here thinking what a sucker you are.”
o Duck Soup to a soldier (Harpo as Pinky) about to enter battle. (1933)

“Gentlemen, Chicolini here may look like an idiot, and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”
o Duck Soup during the trial. (1933)

“Remember men, we’re fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably more than she ever did!”
o Duck Soup, talking about Margaret Dumont as Teasdale (1933)

“Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.”

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