As Seen On TV

This site is just begging for a parody. Every time I look at it I come up with a million different ideas for an invention that would make me a millionaire, if only I could say As Seen On TV.

Just imagine the Shola Rhodes– “You Can Be Rich book and CD set.” It warms my heart to think about it.

What I really need to develop is a pill that restores hair loss, whitens teeth and causes you to lose weight in your sleep. That would be one hell of a cash cow. The problem is that with my luck it would work a little bit differently.

The pill would be effective at causing hair to grow but it wouldn’t be on top of your head. Instead it would manifest itself in your ears and on your knuckles. Your teeth would be white, but exceptionally crooked and the weight loss would be created by extreme diarrhea.

On top of this I need to find some celebrity spokesperson to promote it. Some former child or sitcom star who is in desperate need of money, balding and willing to wear depends. You can’t sell unless you believe in your product.

I am off to eat a little brunch now, but I’ll try to come back later and share more ideas.

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