“MIAMI, Florida (AP) — The bodies of two women, both apparently killed by alligators, were found Sunday less than a week after a similar death in Florida, where there have been just 17 confirmed fatal attacks by the animals in the previous 58 years.”
In the past I have blogged about some of my fears. Being eaten by an animal is on this list. But I have to tell you that I know that I am not going to be killed by a crocodile or alligator. Maybe I have watched too many episodes of Tarzan or the Crocodile Hunter, but I just know that I am too damn mean to be killed by some Sleestak chasing prehistoric refugee.
The first Jurassic park left over that tries to eat me is going to make a nice pair of boots. Unless of course they catch me in the water and it is less than 30 minutes since my last meal. If they manage to do that they might have a chance. Nah, that would still be unfair to them.
Maybe if they caught me in the water, blindfolded and handcuffed they might have a chance. But even then I give myself the upper hand. I am just too tough.
Now if I had to fight a Rhinoceros or an elephant that would be much different. They are big enough I’d have to change my strategy a little bit. I couldn’t get them in a full Nelson and choke them to death. They probably wouldn’t be fazed by the mighty Jack combination. Nah, I’d have to use a gun or spear and what kind of fun would that be.