The Emotional Vampire
There are people in this world who live off of the pain and suffering of others. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes. They are not limited to gender, race, ethnicity or any other method of categorization.
They are emotional vampires.
They thrive off of your own pain and frustration. I don’t know if this is because they feel so small and insignificant they find the only way to assuage their own pain is to share it. I don’t know if it is because of some sort of sadistic pleasure and in truth I am not that interested in learning why.
Sometimes you must accept that there are people who are just bad. In truth that is not such a hard lesson to learn. The harder one is to accept that there are people who are bad for you. It is much more challenging to realize that there are people we see on a regular basis who do nothing to help us.
It is not easy to grasp the simple truth that sometimes the best thing that you can do is to let go and walk away. The emotional vampire will suck you dry. They will make you feel badly about yourself. They will drain you of your confidence and belief in yourself and leave you questioning all that you are.
It sounds overly dramatic, but there is far too much truth and more empirical evidence than you may want to admit. In my life I have encountered more than a couple of them. The scars that they left are not easy to detect. You can’t search my arms, face or trunk for them. You won’t see the scabs left behind because they lie beneath the surface.
Most of the time you won’t ever witness anything that lets you know that they exist. I am too good an actor and far too strong to admit to it or maybe my strength comes from admitting that I have more than my share of weakness. Perhaps it is because of my recognition of this that I gain my strength.
More on this in a separate post.
Anonymous May 25, 2006 at 7:53 am
I just looked up “Emotional Vampire” and found your entry after I’ve been called it more than a few times in my life. I really would like to know why I’m this way and why I feel the need to emotionally destroy people just to feel human. It’s an impossible thing to explain. I guess the fact that I’m talking about it proves that it isn’t a constant thing with me, it’s more of a struggle. I have sudden outbursts that sometimes last for quite a while. When I’m in a relationship I do not act normal, when I meet knew people I can barely act normal. I win them over easily and destroy them even easier. It’s hard to explain. I expect undying loyalty to me, but have a tendancy to lie…alot. Either way, I’ve hurt people I have loved so much and so often that I’ve grown tired of behaving this way. Any ideas on what may help my problem are VERY welcome.
Stephen (aka Q) May 15, 2006 at 7:45 pm
I was married to one for thirteen years, before I wised up. “Emotional vampire” is a good label for it.
Leaf May 15, 2006 at 6:14 pm
After reading this post I wrote my own take on the idea of emotional vampires on my blog. Thanks for the idea, and sorry you have to deal with people like that, I am sure everyone has known someone who has had a negative impact on them for far longer than they deserved. But are all emotional vampires bad?
Irina Tsukerman May 15, 2006 at 3:50 pm
Wow… that’s amazing! I had exact same thoughts last year! I wonder how people BECOME emotional vampires.