Coffee And My Crotch

Add this to the list of embarrassing things I have done in my life. A coffee stain on my crotch. Not a little one, but a big one. I won’t bore you with how it got there, but I will acknowledge it.

I had hoped that it would have faded and gone away, but it didn’t happen. Now I am stuck wearing a pair of pants that look like I am a walking Rorschach test. Great, that is just great.

If I was single I might approach women and ask them what it looked like to them. Ok, I am exaggerating, I wouldn’t do that. In fact I have never done anything remotely like that, not now, not ever. And not even that one time at band camp either.

Can’t go home. This begs the question of do I wear it proudly or just pretend that it is not there. Or should I walk down the street and try to purchase a new pair of pants. It is a dilemma, a stain on my morning.

Well, I suppose that it could be worse. I do have stories that are far more embarrassing, but I don’t think that I’ll be sharing any of them right now.

Excuse me, I have to go slink behind a desk.

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  1. Bagel Blogger May 29, 2006 at 3:09 pm

    No Matter how embarrassing a situation you ever find yourself in.

    Please remember that there is worse.

    I have a friend from childhood, we used to do every thing together.

    We were both going to a rather large ‘Brand New’ movie house, 16 cinema’s if I remember correctly.

    Both dressed in our ‘coolest’ teenage clothes, my friend was a rather confident young man, I thought his confidence was slightly misplaced, but never the less he was some what charming.

    Just before we were to go in to see a movie, my friend states he needs to go to the hmmmmm toilet.

    I’m sitting on the edge of a cafe, watching out for him to come back from across the foyer, and I hear a commotion.

    A group of rather attractive girls who my friend decided were ‘cute’ are staring at him as he returns.

    He smiles, and swaggers the remaining 50 metres through the cinema foyer, smiling knowing the girls find him irrestible.

    At this stage I’m basically under the table I was sitting at.

    As he walks the crowd of hurrying movie goers seem to part like the red sea.

    He comes closer and the girls are rather flushed, he gives a ‘charming’ smile as only he could as I cough and get his attention.

    He looks at me, inquisitively and I point out that it may not be his charm on this occasion that has brought the girls attention.

    He has toilet paper still in his pants, not a sheet or two, he has the whole commercial quantity roll attached to his pants, he has walked over 150 metres through a very busy foyer, been the centre of attention ‘due to his good looks’ and dragged this toilet paper tail about 50 metres long through crowds with out breaking one sheet.

    We never did see that movie.

    So next time remember – its not that bad!

    regards Aaron

  2. Jack's Shack May 25, 2006 at 12:19 am


    I used to carry a couple of razors in the car for just that purpose.


    I did. I ran down the street and picked up a new pair. Made life a lot less complicated.


    Laugh it up ladies. Karma will see that you wear your next meal. 😉


    So you think that women might not appreciate my asking them about my crotch. Darn, I was all set to tell my wife that I had good excuse. 😉


    Your story makes me feel better.

  3. judi May 24, 2006 at 11:01 pm

    There’s something about coffee and gravity today…

    As I was getting ready to clean out the coffeemaker, I spilled yesterday’s coffee on the hallway floor outside the lab.

    Once I’d succesfully made a pot of coffee, I spilled half a cup, again, on the hallway floor outside the lab.

    And of course, all of this coffee spilling highlighted just how badly I needed my coffee. Better luck tomorrow, Jack. And it wouldn’t hurt to keep a spare pair of pants in the car.

  4. RR May 24, 2006 at 9:14 pm

    Let me just say…as a woman…asking women what the stain looks like? Not a good idea.

    Keeping with the hand idea, how about a folder? A book?

  5. kasamba May 24, 2006 at 7:02 pm

    Ditto Stacey!

  6. Stacey May 24, 2006 at 6:31 pm

    Or….you could just keep your hand on your crotch all day. Hee, hee.

  7. Jewish Atheist May 24, 2006 at 6:27 pm

    I agree with Dorothy.

    Still, if the worst problem after spilling hot coffee on your crotch is a stain, you can count yourself lucky. 🙂

  8. dorothy rothschild May 24, 2006 at 6:19 pm

    I would go buy the new pants. Seriously. Otherwise, it’s gonna make you crazy.

  9. Leaf May 24, 2006 at 5:34 pm

    I did that just last week, well not exactly, I was still at home and able to change before leaving the house. But if I did notice after arriving at work it would bother me all day, so I would probably go buy new pants.

    One time I missed a spot shaving and didnt notice until I was in the car, that bothered me so bad I stopped off before work and bought razors to keep in my car in case it ever happened again.

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