The First Pregnant Man
It must be me because I am eating like there is no tomorrow. I can’t figure out what the hell is going on other than I am eating like there are four of us. That must be it, I am pregnant with triplets.
I know you are busy scratching your head wondering how it is that I became pregnant. And I am sure that some of you are trying to figure out how it is with triplets. Well Poindexter let me point out that if I am the first pregnant man I am not going to settle for a single baby. Hell No.
When I break records I do it in a loud and outlandish way. It must be triplets.
Or, in much more exciting news to me I have found the fountain of youth and have rediscovered how to eat as if I am 19. Woohoo (that was said in my best imitation of Homer Simpson)!!!
Nineteen. Can you imagine what it is like to be able to eat with reckless abandon, without fear of calorie or digestive distress. Oh my sweet nellie. What I would give to see this as reality. If I were truly 19 again there is a lot that I would do.
Ok, stomach rumbled so loudly that the neighbor next door asked if everything is ok. Guess that I really am in my mid, almost late 30s.
In truth this age is pretty damn cool. I wouldn’t give up my kids for anything, but I do admit to missing my metabolism.
Got to run and do another set of push ups. Back some other time.
P.S. If I ever leave this blog I hope that it will be without great fanfare and noise. Better to just sail off into the sunset and leave people wondering what fairy tale I am living.