A short while ago I received a telephone call from a telemarketer who was pushing a trial subscription to the local newspaper. Telemarketers, bless their little hearts are so much fun to play with. I just can’t help myself.
Here is a short summary of how this telephone call played out.
Telemarketer: Sir, I’d like to offer you a free trial subscription to the Blankety Blank Press.
Jack: Did you say free?
Telemarketer: Yes, I did. It doesn’t cost a thing and there is no catch.
Jack: No catch? Does that mean that I don’t get a special prize like a toaster or gift certificate for accepting this?
Telemarketer: No sir, you do not.
Jack: Ok, sign me up.
Telemarketer: Can you please tell me your name?
Jack: George Bush.
Telemarketer: Really, like the guy who is president.
Jack: No, I am better looking.
Telemarketer: Does having the same name as the president ever cause you any trouble?
Jack: Only when I get his mail. Dealing with the Secret Service is a bitch.
Telemarketer: The Secret Service? How do you get involved with them?
Jack: The Secret Service. I can’t tell you, it is a secret.
Jack: Do you have clearance or any sort of government privileges?
Telemarketer: How do you get those?
Jack: Sir, I don’t think that your job provides that for you nor do I think that has anything to do with my free trial subscription.
Telemarketer: You are right, but I have to ask you. What is it like getting the president’s mail?
Jack: Well, it is dull. He gets letters about free credit cards, notes about missing kids, coupons for local restaurants and a ton of letters offering a better mortgage.
Telemarketer: Wow, sounds just like my mail.
Telemarketer: Ok, I appreciate your time. You, George Bush have a two week subscription to the Blankety Blank Press.
Jack: Thank you, I appreciate it.
Telemarketer: Have a good day.
Jack: You too.
It is good to know that this guy is not a doctor or a pilot. Oy vey, can you imagine.