You have to love this customer service. (Audio file)
Here is a partial transcript:
AOL REPRESENTATIVE: Hi this is John at AOL… how may I help you today?
VINCENT FERRARI: I wanted to cancel my account.
AOL: Sorry to hear that. Let’s pull your account up here real quick. Can I
have your name please?
VINCENT: Vincent Ferrari.CLOCK READOUT – 00:30
AOL: You’ve had this account for a long time.
AOL: Use this quite a bit. What was the cause of wanting to turn this off today?
VINCENT: I just don’t use it anymore.
AOL: Do you have a high speed connection, like the DSL or cable?
AOL: How long have you had that…
AOL: …the high speed?
AOL: Well, actually I’m showing a lot of usage on this account.
VINCENT: Yeah, a long time, a long time ago, not recently…CLOCK READOUT – 01:47
AOL: Okay, I mean is there a problem with the software itself?
VINCENT: No. I just don’t use it, I don’t need it, I don’t want it. I just don’t need it anymore.
AOL: Okay. So when you use this… I mean, use the computer, I’m saying, is that for business or for… for school?
VINCENT: Dude, what difference does it make. I don’t want the AOL account anymore. Can we please cancel it?CLOCK READOUT – 02:21
AOL: Last year was 545, last month was 545 hours of usage…
VINCENT: I don’t know how to make this any clearer, so I’m just gonna say it one last time. Cancel the account.
AOL: Well explain to me what’s, why…
VINCENT: I’m not explaining anything to you. Cancel the account.
AOL: Well, what’s the matter man? We’re just, I’m just trying to help here.
VINCENT: You’re not helping me. You’re helping me…
AOL: I am trying to help.
VINCENT: Helping… listen, I called to cancel the account. Helping me would
be canceling the account. Please help me and cancel the account.
AOL: No, it wouldn’t actually…
VINCENT: Cancel my account…
AOL: Turning off your account…
VINCENT: …cancel the account…
AOL: …would be the worst thing that…
VINCENT: …cancel the account.CLOCK READOUT – 03:02
AOL: Okay, cause I’m just trying to figure out…
VINCENT: Cancel the account. I don’t know how to make this any clearer for you. Cancel the account. When I say cancel the account, I don’t mean help me figure out how to keep it, I mean cancel the account.
AOL: Well, I’m sorry, I don’t know what anybody’s done to you Vincent because all I’m…
VINCENT: Will you please cancel the account.CLOCK READOUT – 03:32
AOL: Alright, some day when you calmed down you’re gonna realize that all I
was trying to do was help you… and it was actually in your best interest to listen to me.
VINCENT: Wonderful, Okay.CLOCK READOUT – 03:39