Sorry, this headline is too good not to bring to your attention:
Awkward moments abound in penis pump trial
“BRISTOW, Okla. – Serving on the jury in an indecent-exposure trial unfolding in this conservative Oklahoma town has been a giggle-inducing experience.
Former Judge Donald D. Thompson, a veteran of 23 years on the bench, is on trial on charges he used a penis pump on himself in the courtroom while sitting in judgment of others.
Over the past few days, the jurors have watched a defense attorney and a prosecutor pantomime masturbation. A doctor has lectured on the lengths the defendant was willing to go to enhance his sexual performance.
The white-handled sexual device sits before the jury box for hours at a time. Occasionally an attorney picks it up and squeezes the handle, demonstrating the “sh-sh” sound of air rushing through the contraption’s plastic tubing.
The jurors sometimes exchange awkward looks and break into nervous laughter when the testimony takes a lurid turn.
Thompson, 59, is charged with four counts of indecent exposure, each punishable by up to 10 years in prison. If convicted, he would also have to register as a sex offender, and his $7,489.91-a-month pension would be in jeopardy.
Thompson’s former court reporter, Lisa Foster, wiped away tears as she described tracing an unfamiliar “sh-sh” in the courtroom to her boss. She testified that between 2001 and 2003 she saw Thompson expose himself at least 15 times.
“I was really shocked and I was kind of scared because it was so bizarre,” said Foster.
She testified that during a trial in 2002, she heard the pump during the emotional testimony of a murdered toddler’s grandfather.
The grandfather “was getting real teary-eyed, and the judge was up there pumping on that pump,” she said. “It was sickening.”
The allegations came to light after a police officer who was in Thompson’s court heard pumping sounds and took photos of the device during a break in the proceedings.”
Ok, here is a question. How involved do you have to be for you not to notice that there is a cop taking pictures of you and your pump.
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