I woke up a very short time ago from a very fine dream. It was one of those dreams in which you fight to stay asleep if only to keep holding onto the feeling you had in the dream.
My grandfather and grandmother were in it. I am typing so quickly because even though it was so vivid and real to me the dream is already to starting to fade, why oh why do the details start to blur so quickly.
In the beginning we were at my parent’s house and my grandfather just kind of showed up. Everyone was in shock and surprise over this. I looked across the room at my father and our eyes met for a moment. I gave him a look that said you are going to have to explain what happened to all of his stuff.
And then all of a sudden I was in a different room and place with my grandfather and my grandmother. They were walking and moving freely, as they did in my memories. The walkers and canes were gone. It was like when I was a very little boy. They moved with the strength of their youth.
I was so excited to see this and them. It is almost three years since my grandmother died. But there she was. Her hair had been done recently and she was busy doing a bunch of things. She yelled at my grandfather and he just giggled and said something back to her. It was their normal banter.
But even in the dream I knew that something was off. I started babbling at him about everything that had happened. When it came to telling him about how he had died and I had to call my dad I got choked up. He walked over and put a hand on my head and hugged me.
It was so surreal because for years now I have been quite a bit taller and broader than him, yet in the dream it was like I was that little boy who used to go out with him all the time.
As he comforted me and I tried to spit out far too much information in too short a time the alarm went off. I woke up and stared at the ceiling. I had been defeated in my efforts to continue sleeping so that I could continue the dream.
And now I sit here at the keyboard trying to hold onto it in a different way. Do the dead walk in our dreams. Was I just visited by my grandparents because if they do and I was I am quite happy. And even if they don’t, I still feel good.
I’ll have to spend some time thinking about this one. If you saw me you’d probably see me with a bit of an odd bemused smile on my face. I miss them terribly but after what I was just a part of how I can not smile.