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  1. Z says

    Left out The Classic Richard: Thinks he’s the boss, takes an hour paper break EVERY.SINGLE.DAY, doesn’t have a clue about what the business is even about but can reiterate what you explain to him in such a clever way as to make it sound like his own idea. Thinks one subject and one subject only appeals to particular office-mates and only speaks to them about it (for me, oh joy, it’s the Jews), can be talking to you about urgent office project but if he sniffs that the Boss has walked into his office…he breaks in mid-sentence and leaves. Slurps his coffee at the coffee machine, licks the sugar spoon and puts it BACK IN!!!, steals food and has an uncanny ability to sense when company has arrived so he can bullshit with them for an hour and then snake his way into whatever meeting they’re having with the Boss. Touches EVERYONE, including the Boss (he removed lint from his shirt one day.) Is completely paranoid about everyone in the office but always chats up the secretary, telling her he’s the Boss’s “right hand man” and the second in command. Completely delusional.

    Yep, a classic.

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