Every office has at least one office pest. Here’s RedEye’s list of some of the worst offenders.
The Borrower: Always takes things from your desk, and you never see them again. The Groper: Always finds a way to put a hand on your shoulder or brush against you in meetings. The Close-talker: If she gets any closer you’d be making out. The Fridge Foe: Better put a lock on that sandwich or else he’ll steal it. The Loud Speaker: Hasn’t mastered the “inside voice” and talks so loud on the phone that you, too, have to live through all his personal and professional drama. The Slow Joe: Takes an hour to explain something that should take a minute. The Nervous Nelly: Twists her hair into dreadlocks, incessantly clicks her pen or constantly cracks her knuckles. The Pontificator: Nothing’s a simple “yes” or “no.” The Noisemaker: Whistling, tapping, sneezing, humming or performing some awful impression at all times. The Copier: Don’t worry about missing the latest hip catchphrase, you’ll hear it every time you run into him, usually accompanied by the ol’ finger pistols. The Fish: Gives you the hated Limp Handshake and has the personality to match. The Know It All: Puts in his 2 cents in all conversations, even if he’s not involved. And he’s always right, or else he’ll keep talking. So, just agree with him. The Whiner: Spends the entire shift complaining—about co-workers, workload, management, corporate policies. Yet he’s worked there for years and probably will never, ever leave. The Gossip: Always fanning the flames of office politics. Usually knows the latest scoop—but if not, makes it up The Breather: Has perpetual bad breath and needs a mint especially after 2 p.m. The Pre-Divorcee: Has daily fights on phone, for all to hear, about the messy divorce he or she is going through.
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