It is close to a year since I wrote part I and not much has changed. I’d like to say that I have grown and matured a lot, but I am not so sure that it is accurate.
I still have feelings of frustration. My best posts are often overlooked and for the most part there is at best a smattering of comments. That is not always the case. There are posts that draw quite a bit of attention and a chunk of comments from the readers, but not always.
My position on why I blog hasn’t changed. I don’t do it for the comments. I don’t do it with the hope of receiving a book deal. I do it because I enjoy it.
I am like so many others. I appreciate the comments. If someone wanted to give me a book deal I would certainly have to entertain it, why not.
As I sit here in mobile office I can say that I was wrong. The blog has matured and has grown. I feel like I have a real rhythm and style. I know that I have a set of readers who visit repeatedly. I am still surprised that so many people do and that so many of you enjoy the crap I spew out here, but I appreciate it.
So in the midst of another new year here is my number one goal for this blog. I want to improve upon my writing. I want to try and raise my game and make the words just sing. I want the text to shout. I want it to feel like there are layers upon layers of texture and color. I want to write well enough that you feel like you are standing next to me, experiencing these tales together.
In the end I have to strive for this because I believe it to be true and because this is what I teach my children. You have to work hard and you have to practice. So I cannot give up on my writing. I cannot close this outlet, not yet.
Now is when I need to dig in and try harder. And there you have it, my confession. I want more. I need more from myself and if I can do that successfully everything else will come.
Do I have blog envy? Yes, I do. I admit it. But I am going to use it to motivate me. So if you are still up for another spin on the carousel I invite you to climb on pick out a horse or pony to ride.
Get comfortable, the ride will be starting soon.