Chain Email Letters

The next person who sends me a chain email letter in which they threaten me with bad luck for not passing along their stupid fucking message is going to get blasted by me.

Blame my bad humor on the time of year, time of month or whatever makes sense to you. I don’t care. What I do know is that I despise these simplistic and moronic notes that promise me three wishes, true love and world peace, but only if I send the note along to the next 30 people in my address book.

If you are sending these notes out then you are a spammer and not even a honest spammer. Hell, a real spammer just goes out and sends off these missives promising pills that will give me an eternal erection, stock tips, lotto winner and the 1,002,876 requests from kind hearted souls who need my help in securing money by helping to perpetuate fraud.

At least those jackasses send these things out knowing that it is a flat out lie.

You others just fill my inbox with stupid crap and think that if we only held hands and sang Kumbaya war would immediately cease. Let’s get a few things straight.

  1. If you think that George Bush is the world’s biggest terrorist you are just short of delusional. Ok, that is probably unfair but the moral ambiguity you demonstrate with comments like that is frightening.
  2. Telling me that the death toll in Iraq now exceeds 911 is not significant or meaningful. Place it in some kind of context and maybe it makes sense.
  3. Telling me that the war in Iraq has now outlasted the time it took to fight WWII lacks the same meaning and significance as the item in number 2.
  4. Captain Kirk still kicks Picard’s ass.
  5. New Coke was a terrible mistake.
  6. So was Caddyshack II.

I am too hungry to try and come up with anything else for this list. The well has gone dry. Must get some meat for my belly. More blogging later.

(Visited 53 times, 1 visits today)


  1. Icing on the Cake December 31, 2006 at 2:33 am

    I hear ya man, it’s all fucked up.

  2. chosha December 29, 2006 at 1:51 pm

    I send on stuff I really like, AFTER deleting the chain mail crap from the bottom.

  3. Jack's Shack December 28, 2006 at 7:32 am




    That is better than the tripe I have seen all over the net. All I ask is that people provide a context for it. Too many read the headlines and just cut and paste without any consideration for whether it is meaningful.

  4. The Misanthrope December 28, 2006 at 5:33 am

    Possibly regarding #2 is the old confucius saying, “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” Or is it 2,000 more?

  5. Anonymous December 27, 2006 at 10:52 pm

    I’m speechless. But I’m sending this post to 10 people. And they’d better send it to 10 more. Or I’ll fucking find out why.

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