"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx
For those of you who enjoy potty humor I present the Toilet Monster and accompanying pottytoys.
What items does that list include? I am glad you asked they include such favorites as:
Pretty nifty stuff. If those items don’t catch your fancy you might try:
A little free association for you.
I have been lucky enough to own a digital camera for the past four, maybe five years or so. The days of dealing with 110, 126 and 35mm are fading fast. Ok, upon occasion I still use my 35mm. It takes nice photos and there are some advantages to using it.
I have two digital cameras. They are both made by Sony. One is a 3.2 pixel model and the other is 6.0. I remember being really pleased by the older model. It made me feel like a kid in a candy shop. There were so many cool things to do with it.
I especially loved having the ability to delete bad shots. No longer would I have wasted film. The old trick of throwing out the bad photos was no longer needed.
Over time my love for the camera waned a bit. We grew apart, our interests didn’t mesh in the same way anymore. You see the camera was a bit like the turtle I blogged about earlier.
It moved slowly. It wasn’t interested in trying to keep up with precocious children. It refused to snap the photos as fast I wanted it to. My photos began to look like some weird avant-garde artist’s collection. There were lots of pictures of the backs and sides of children. The same children who moments before were in the full frame.
All it had to do was move a bit faster. We could have made it work. Snap the photos more quickly. I begged, please little camera just click while the kids are facing you. But it just refused so I had to go out and grab a replacement.
The new guy has been around for several months. He is better about keeping up and he takes nice shots, but there is a problem with him too. The new guy has a 1 gig memory stick.
Now I have to work hard to keep up with him. If I am not careful he’ll hold onto 1,202,987 pictures. Do you know what a pain-in-the-ass it is to try and review all of those shots. Let me tell you, it is not easy.
Every week I have to make time to sit down and upload the photos to the computer. Every week I have to take my time to sift through the shots and make sure that I keep the good and get rid of the bad.
I wish that I could say that I always keep my appointments with the little master, but sometimes circumstances have prevented me from doing so. It is a mess.
Oy.
Killer elephant named after Osama slain
GAUHATI, India – A killer elephant named after
Osama bin Laden by fearful villagers was killed by sharpshooters, officials said Sunday. The animal was blamed for 14 deaths in the northeastern state of Assam.…..In the past five years, more than 250 people have been killed in Assam by elephants, while angry villagers killed 268 elephants during the same period, officials said.
“Professor,” I asked, cautiously, “are we looking for some particular manuscript?”
He didn’t answer right away. Eventually he said, seemingly to himself, “Oh anything. There is one thing … but, no, anything.”
“One thing?” I pressed.
He finally looked back at me. “Well, I have some rough evidence that the 98th book of Havel Havalim is supposed to be in this area. But perhaps that’s all part of this seemingly elaborate joke!”
“Havel Havalim? What’s that?” asked Julie, saving me from having to do so.”
All but Ageless, Turtles Face Their Biggest Threat: Humans
“Dr. Christopher J. Raxworthy, the associate curator of herpetology at the American Museum of Natural History, says the liver, lungs and kidneys of a centenarian turtle are virtually indistinguishable from those of its teenage counterpart, a Ponce de Leonic quality that has inspired investigators to begin examining the turtle genome for novel longevity genes.
“Turtles don’t really die of old age,†Dr. Raxworthy said. In fact, if turtles didn’t get eaten, crushed by an automobile or fall prey to a disease, he said, they might just live indefinitely.
Turtles have the power to almost stop the ticking of their personal clock. “Their heart isn’t necessarily stimulated by nerves, and it doesn’t need to beat constantly,†said Dr. George Zug, curator of herpetology at the Smithsonian Institution. “They can turn it on and off essentially at will.â€
Slow and steady wins the race.
“Dec. 15, 2006 — From the outside, the resort looks just like any other along the sun-soaked beaches of Los Cabos, Mexico: pools and bars and volleyball. But before long, it’s easy to see signs that this place is different.
In the gift shop, not far from the sun block, were boxes of Viagra.
Outside by the pool were big red beds, draped with wispy curtains. And these beds were not for tanning. It was very quickly clear that at this clothing-optional resort, most enjoyed that option. Nudity was the norm. After all, this was Desire, the second-best-known “swingers” resort on the planet.
Swinging is when husbands and wives, or boyfriends and girlfriends, swap partners with other couples and sleep with people who are not their husbands and wives, or boyfriends or girlfriends. And Desire is just the latest example of entrepreneurs cashing in on what they see as a growing lifestyle and, as a result, a lucrative business opportunity.
Robert McGinley, the 72-year-old founder and CEO of Lifestyles Organization, the world’s leading company devoted to “swinging,” believes that one specific element makes swingers resorts successful.
“Freedom — freedom of expression, freedom to be what you want to be, freedom to be stark naked nude next to someone, and they don’t care,” he said.
“They want to be able to, if they’re, say, here in the Jacuzzi or in the disco dance, and get turned on by another couple, those two couples want to be able to go someplace like this bed that I’m sitting on right here and take it a step further — sexual exploration.”
You can call it wife-swapping, call it creepy — call it what you like, but it appears that the business of swing is booming.”
See what happens when you allow mixed dancing. 😉