The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Random Thoughts

The ‘Gifts’ Of Aging

by 2 Comments

Don’t have it in me to try and translate this song for you because it requires more than just providing lyrics in English.

It would be similar to asking me to tell you about Springsteen’s Born To Run, Marlowe’s Passionate Shepherd poem and what they mean to me.

We’re not talking about a report for an English class but the kind of intimate explanation you provide to someone you want to understand you on a deeper level.

And I am tired, physically and mentally.

Been carrying a load that I hadn’t realized was extra heavy and it has caught up with me. The funny thing about it is in so many ways life is really good now.

The work I have put in to make it go a certain way has paid off and I am 90 percent of the way or something close to it.

That is a good thing and I am grateful but now I have to take it off of my shoulders, this load and catch my breath because the last part of the journey is going to require even more.

Don’t doubt that I will make it but this pause is how I take a moment so that I can recharge my battery because it is going to take some grit to go the distance.

Probably part of why I have seen so many docs lately, I subconsciously knew this was coming and began to prepare for it.

The ‘Gifts’ Of Aging

One of my daughters best friends is walking the streets of Jerusalem now in a program far different than the one she is in here in the states.

She hears stories via Whatsapp and various methods that make the world a smaller place but she doesn’t know the world her friend is in the way I do.

Nor does she have the benefit of life experience to have similar expectations to mine and that is ok, she doesn’t need to.

I haven’t volunteered much and intend to stay silent because it is not my place to prognosticate about 18 year-olds and their dream.

Nor will I tell her about the people I know who went down similar paths and years later are divorced and far less religious than they were.

Not my world or my place, my focus is on other things.

Got a girl who scored higher than most of the class on her Chemistry test but is frustrated that she didn’t meet her own expectations.

Been talking to her about grit and remembering that she has been in college for all of five weeks. Her old man had a very different experience during the first five weeks but he was never as driven as she is in some areas.

Though I can say I was and am as driven in some areas as she has ever been. Her drive didn’t just materialize from nothing.


What The Docs Have Said

Overall the docs have said I am doing well and offered counsel for ways to do better. Still need to get back to my PCP to get that broader view of things but have refused to go in.

Why?

Because I want to be in better shape when I go and have been seeing progress. Overall I feel good but could feel far better.

I attribute some of that to frustration with particular areas of life. Once I get those fixed or at least adjusted I think I’ll stop carrying some of this weight and that will have a positive impact.

For now I am just working through it because I can’t wait for things to happen. Can’t say it is all contingent upon one thing or another.

So I am rollng with what I have got and doing what I can.

As I said above, things are pretty good overall so I am keeping my fingers corssed that I can maintain the momentum even as I deal with some of the brain damage life throws at us.

Maybe that is one of the gifts of aging, the knowledge tomorrow isn’t promised so we act upon it all today, whatever ‘all’ is.

 

It’s Not About Reusable Content

by 4 Comments

The digital resume rolled out across my screen accompanied by a droning noise someone said was supposed to be color commentary about what I was seeing.

Instead of generating interest, it worked as an alternative to Ambien and I began to wish for another 198 ounces of coffee or a baseball bat to the head.

Had I done a better job of maintaining a poker face I would have fooled the people with me into thinking I was paying attention and not fighting to stay awake.

But I didn’t and I was fighting to find toothpicks for the eyelids.

Eventually, they asked me what was bothering me and I gave a blunter answer than I intended about being bored to death.

“Skills are nice but you have to do something with them otherwise they just look pretty.”

We bounced a few more comments back and forth and they asked me what made me an expert.

“I am not saying I am an expert but there was a time when people paid me to produce content and to provide a marketing plan. Those skills get rusty but they don’t disappear.”


It’s Not About Reusable Content

The conversation made me realize that a few things have changed in the decades since I graduated from college.

Talked with my own progeny about their college experience and pushed the importance of producing good content that demonstrates an understanding of the topic and application as needed.

“It is not about reusable content, it is about showing you know what you are talking about. Do that first and then you can look at how and if to reuse the material.”

The folks at the office got the same sort of advice/comment as the kids did. It isn’t and wasn’t me trying to B.S. anyone into this particular idea because it is bedrock to me.

If you want to tie it into blogging it fits in as the need to make sure you are not boring yourself with whatever you write.

Because if you are bored there is a pretty damn good chance the reader will be bored too.

Find the angle of interest and run with it. Can’t please everyone and don’t need to, but you have to capture some.

Some is enough.

Also in reference to blogging, there are moments where it is advantageous to reuse content. I have done it multiple times where.

Might do it again quite soon.

New readers come by and old ones who haven’t read certain posts might appreciate it.

There is a balance, not that I necessarily know where it is or use it, but I think about it…sometimes.

Simple Truths

by Leave a Comment

We can add this post to the list that I need to work upon some more and weave into a larger tale. It contains some simple truths that I don’t think have changed.

Got some deep and serious ideas that I’ll incorporate into this but it won’t happen tonight. Tonight is a message to let you know I haven’t forgotten about this place.

I know I have said it multiple times but it is still true, this is still one of my favorite homes and deserving of more attention but time is limited.

That forces decisions that are harder to make but have to be walked through regardless of difficulty.

The changes of life are upon us again, soon we’ll see their impact.

Ask SQ and she’ll tell you, it is why she has spent more time walking with me.

 

Written In The Stars

by 1 Comment

There are things going on now that have me shaking my head in both amazement and the occasional moment of disgust.

Can’t decide if I should try to explain or just use the song to illustrate it all, contradictions all around.

I had a dream last night,
The world was set on fire.
And everywhere I ran,
There wasn’t any water…
The temperature increased,
The sky was crimson red,
The clouds turned into smoke,
And everyone was dead.
But there’s a smile on my face,
For everyone…

That Lonely Place

Sometimes the life bus drops you off at that lonely place without any regard for your wishes or desires and then you have to figure out what to do with it.

You can drop your bags and unpack knowing you might be there for a while or you can take other steps and work on a plan for getting out of there.

There rarely if ever is a reason for an extended stay there but it doesn’t mean that you can choose the time and date you enter or leave.

If life were that simple it would be a very different world but it is not and smart people distinguish between the world we live in and the one we wish we did.

Doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t work for better, just that you keep one foot planted on Earth so that you can take care of reality while working towards the other.

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

I could tell you a story about the Shmata Queen and how I told her she would have to say ‘please’ but that is kind of risque and we’re short on time.

So I’ll share the second Oingo-Boingo video of this post and tell you the lyrics absolutely prove the more things change, the more they stay the same.

I always liked Boingo but I wasn’t as big a fan as some friends who went to thirty or forty of their concerts as opposed to the handful I hit.

Might have been two or three, heck it could be one.

Been about 24 or 25 years I think since the last show I saw at the Universal Amphitheater. It was one of the Halloween shows and it was phenomenal.

They didn’t need auto-tune or any studio effects and the crowd was filled with diehard fans who never stopped dancing and singing along.

I don’t recall if the venue held 12,000 or 30,000 people, just that I felt like I knew most of them or knew someone that knew them.

Was kind of cool, made it feel like a more intimate show.

Placeholders Continued

by Leave a Comment

Moving on from this post with thoughts about integrating these songs into a new post.

Song one

Song 2

Song 3

Got three or four ideas for a story inside my head and that is without thinking hard about whether they ought to be integrated into one or expanded into six or seven.

If you cared enough and took the time I could take you through the seventies into the eighties and into the present.

And hell, I might tell the tales anyway because I am that guy whomever that is anyway.

Or at least that is what someone said to me, “you are that guy” and I didn’t fight it.

I just nodded my head, smiled and said “you have no idea.”

That is what happens when you try to label me or pin me down. I don’t like it very much and I respond. Maybe it makes me juvenile or maybe it just means I am human.

Don’t think I am particularly different from many, I am just a man.


It Happens This Year

Made a decision about a few things a while back and decided I am going to get the answers and do something about them.

“It happens this year. I take action or drop it all and move on because it is time.”

Not sure who I was talking to when I said it, but I know I said out loud so it maybe it was for me. Maybe I had to say it so that I could my own voice and accept the promise I made to myself.

Sometimes that is what you have to do, speak out loud and hold yourself accountable to yourself.

After all, if you can’t do it for yourself than whom are you are going to do it for.

That is how we have to roll. Can’t be good for anyone else if you aren’t good to yourself.

Memory Blanks

by Leave a Comment

Four or five hours ago I knew what I was going to write about here and made a point to make a mental note to remember or write it down.

It was a good idea, but it didn’t happen and now the thing that could have been an awesome sequel to the prior post is lost inside the cavern between my ears.

Could tell you not to worry and you would probably say that is good because you don’t but I suspect at least one of you does. At least one found themselves weirded out but not weirded out by the prior post.

Because sometimes you go through hell and beyond and end up in the place between limbo and heaven wondering how the fuck you got there and if you need to stay.

It is a reasonable question, why dance in the fire if you can extinguish it and walk away?

Maybe because you realize the fire burns in a different way and you are determined to figure out what the hell is different and if you should pay attention to it.

Because you have missed opportunities before and this time you are not going to miss one without putting more thought and influence into it.

That’s not to say you didn’t put thought into it before, but this time age, wisdom and experience are there to lean upon and that is worth more than just a little.

One moment and nothing was ever the same, might as well run it down.