The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Random Thoughts

Simple Truths

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We can add this post to the list that I need to work upon some more and weave into a larger tale. It contains some simple truths that I don’t think have changed.

Got some deep and serious ideas that I’ll incorporate into this but it won’t happen tonight. Tonight is a message to let you know I haven’t forgotten about this place.

I know I have said it multiple times but it is still true, this is still one of my favorite homes and deserving of more attention but time is limited.

That forces decisions that are harder to make but have to be walked through regardless of difficulty.

The changes of life are upon us again, soon we’ll see their impact.

Ask SQ and she’ll tell you, it is why she has spent more time walking with me.

 

Written In The Stars

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There are things going on now that have me shaking my head in both amazement and the occasional moment of disgust.

Can’t decide if I should try to explain or just use the song to illustrate it all, contradictions all around.

I had a dream last night,
The world was set on fire.
And everywhere I ran,
There wasn’t any water…
The temperature increased,
The sky was crimson red,
The clouds turned into smoke,
And everyone was dead.
But there’s a smile on my face,
For everyone…

That Lonely Place

Sometimes the life bus drops you off at that lonely place without any regard for your wishes or desires and then you have to figure out what to do with it.

You can drop your bags and unpack knowing you might be there for a while or you can take other steps and work on a plan for getting out of there.

There rarely if ever is a reason for an extended stay there but it doesn’t mean that you can choose the time and date you enter or leave.

If life were that simple it would be a very different world but it is not and smart people distinguish between the world we live in and the one we wish we did.

Doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t work for better, just that you keep one foot planted on Earth so that you can take care of reality while working towards the other.

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

I could tell you a story about the Shmata Queen and how I told her she would have to say ‘please’ but that is kind of risque and we’re short on time.

So I’ll share the second Oingo-Boingo video of this post and tell you the lyrics absolutely prove the more things change, the more they stay the same.

I always liked Boingo but I wasn’t as big a fan as some friends who went to thirty or forty of their concerts as opposed to the handful I hit.

Might have been two or three, heck it could be one.

Been about 24 or 25 years I think since the last show I saw at the Universal Amphitheater. It was one of the Halloween shows and it was phenomenal.

They didn’t need auto-tune or any studio effects and the crowd was filled with diehard fans who never stopped dancing and singing along.

I don’t recall if the venue held 12,000 or 30,000 people, just that I felt like I knew most of them or knew someone that knew them.

Was kind of cool, made it feel like a more intimate show.

Placeholders Continued

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Moving on from this post with thoughts about integrating these songs into a new post.

Song one

Song 2

Song 3

Got three or four ideas for a story inside my head and that is without thinking hard about whether they ought to be integrated into one or expanded into six or seven.

If you cared enough and took the time I could take you through the seventies into the eighties and into the present.

And hell, I might tell the tales anyway because I am that guy whomever that is anyway.

Or at least that is what someone said to me, “you are that guy” and I didn’t fight it.

I just nodded my head, smiled and said “you have no idea.”

That is what happens when you try to label me or pin me down. I don’t like it very much and I respond. Maybe it makes me juvenile or maybe it just means I am human.

Don’t think I am particularly different from many, I am just a man.


It Happens This Year

Made a decision about a few things a while back and decided I am going to get the answers and do something about them.

“It happens this year. I take action or drop it all and move on because it is time.”

Not sure who I was talking to when I said it, but I know I said out loud so it maybe it was for me. Maybe I had to say it so that I could my own voice and accept the promise I made to myself.

Sometimes that is what you have to do, speak out loud and hold yourself accountable to yourself.

After all, if you can’t do it for yourself than whom are you are going to do it for.

That is how we have to roll. Can’t be good for anyone else if you aren’t good to yourself.

Memory Blanks

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Four or five hours ago I knew what I was going to write about here and made a point to make a mental note to remember or write it down.

It was a good idea, but it didn’t happen and now the thing that could have been an awesome sequel to the prior post is lost inside the cavern between my ears.

Could tell you not to worry and you would probably say that is good because you don’t but I suspect at least one of you does. At least one found themselves weirded out but not weirded out by the prior post.

Because sometimes you go through hell and beyond and end up in the place between limbo and heaven wondering how the fuck you got there and if you need to stay.

It is a reasonable question, why dance in the fire if you can extinguish it and walk away?

Maybe because you realize the fire burns in a different way and you are determined to figure out what the hell is different and if you should pay attention to it.

Because you have missed opportunities before and this time you are not going to miss one without putting more thought and influence into it.

That’s not to say you didn’t put thought into it before, but this time age, wisdom and experience are there to lean upon and that is worth more than just a little.

One moment and nothing was ever the same, might as well run it down.

Been Way Too Long

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Time moves faster than I realize because it feels like but a moment since SQ asked me to reconsider leaving and I said not to worry because I would be back.

Been slightly less than a moment since I updated this joint except the calendar shows how very wrong I am on both accounts.

Don’t think I have ever gone this long between posts here and that bothers me because this is one of my homes and I feel like I haven’t taken care of it.

Been busy with important things, meaningful things, things that qualify as more than stuff but it doesn’t take the sting out some of it.

Told SQ that sometimes that familiar ache hits so very hard and didn’t hear anything in return but took silence as acknowledgment because sometimes there is no reason to say much more.

If she stepped into my arms it would feel like no time had passed and the familiarity of home would be there because we carry our home with us wherever we go.


No Time To Do It All

Haven’t got enough time to do it all and too much to ignore what I can do.

Looked in the mirror and shook my head because I see the weight of the past and a face that knows what it means to live, to love and to lose.

A face that knows triumph, sorrow and the in-between.

He can carry the load himself if need be because it is how he is built, but it is not his first choice.

It is why I told SQ it is time to carry each other again and to let go and let be. To take a shot at grabbing that brass ring and to see if the magic is truly eternal as we have always known and believed it to be.

Always said one kiss would bring it all back which is why she hides her lips, because it is known and destiny will force our hands whether we choose to cooperate or not.

So better to march out and meet it on our terms, as best we can.

Why be Charles and Camilla when you could be like that man in black and his girl.

You can face the opportunity and see if the sun still warms your countenance or stand under the clouds and pretend the shadow cannot move.

The Queen May Read

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Thought about what was written here and wondered when the queen may read it. Hope it would be sooner than later but time really has no meaning right now.

Impatient I may be, anxious to have conversation and connection because of a feeling that things are heading a certain direction.

Got no logical reason to feel this way, merely a gut impulse but every other time I felt it the thing I thought would happen did.

Doesn’t mean it will, but it doesn’t mean it won’t either.

So if I sit upon the fence post and wait a moment before determining what side to come down upon I am ok with it.