Your Daughter Is Going To Die

As a father I cannot imagine more horrifying words than being told that your child is going to die. It has to be a complete nightmare. I say this as someone who has seen what the loss of a child can do to a family. That experience is outside of the thoughts and feelings that some bloggers have shared about the loss of their children.

I wrote Taking Stock of Life- A General Accounting because of a number of things, one of which was learning about how very ill a good friend has become. But I didn’t share everything that was going on.

You see my baby cousin has a brain tumor. She is not really a baby anymore, not in the traditional sense of the word. She is 25. We grew up in different states and I can’t say that I really saw her all that much which is probably why it is easier to picture a little girl in pigtails.

The news about my cousin came on the same day that my friend filled me on what is going on with her. At the time I couldn’t bring myself to write about my cousin. I couldn’t do it because of the sick feeling that just hearing about it gave me.

I have been down this road before. Too many times, too many brain tumors, too much death. It just shook me up. I really was filled with dread. It is not easy to process so much bad news in such a short time.

When I thought about my cousin’s mother I heard this clinical voice tell her that in all likelihood her daughter would succumb to this. I am ashamed to admit that.

But while there is life there is hope. Medical science is not precise. Sometimes 2+2 does not equal four. So while there is time to hope, I will hope. While there is time to pray I will pray. Better now than later. Better today than tomorrow.

Life is a bitch, but you don’t have to let it break you. I don’t know what else to say. I am not sure that it is accurate to say that I feel better, but I am somewhat relieved that I got some of this off of my chest.

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16 Comments

  1. Jack's Shack January 9, 2007 at 8:52 pm

    Thank you.

  2. Anonymous January 9, 2007 at 10:43 am

    yes I’ll be praying too.

    One of my friends lost her 19 year old son in Iraq last year. Her family is breaking apart over it. Losing a child often causes divorce etc. One reason why the support of family and friends is so important.

  3. Jack's Shack January 9, 2007 at 6:17 am

    Hi Elie,

    Thank you.

    Richmond,

    I appreciate it.

  4. Richmond January 9, 2007 at 2:39 am

    Oh my… I am so sorry for anyone who has to face the loss of a child.

    And Jack, I am sincerely sorry for your cousin, you and your family. You’ll all be in my prayers.

  5. Anonymous January 8, 2007 at 2:33 pm

    I’m so sorry. May God give your family strength to endure.

    I wish there was something else to say, but from experience, I know there isn’t.

  6. Jack's Shack January 8, 2007 at 7:48 am

    Stacey,

    I appreciate it.

    RR,

    Thank you.

    Jameel,

    We’ll have to discuss it in more detail over a waffle breakfast.

    MBM,

    Thanks.

    Rav F,

    Many thanks.

    Brooke,

    That is greatly appreciated.

    Sandra,

    We’ll take whatever we can get. You never know what might help.

    Irina,

    Thank you.

    Aaron,

    Always. Thank you.

    Funky,

    Faith is hard to have, but you are so very right. We play the hand that we are dealt.

  7. Anonymous January 8, 2007 at 4:31 am

    i’m sorry. i agree… life IS a bitch! thoughts are always coming into my head about how life is sooo unfair… and not just for me, but probably everybody. if u really think about it, everyone has been through or is going through a hard time… some a lot worse than others. but in the end, i try and keep in mind what my rabbi back in my yeshiva days told me: “it could be much worse!” sometimes it doesn’t seem like it CAN get much worse, but we have to just do the best we can with the cards that we’ve been dealt, and have faith that things will get better. refuah shelema

  8. Bagel Blogger January 8, 2007 at 1:03 am

    May they both have a Refuah Sheleima.
    Thank you for sharing what must be very painful Jack.
    Keep your chin up.
    Aaron

    Regards Bagelblogger
    Visit: Bagelblogger

  9. Irina Tsukerman January 8, 2007 at 12:43 am

    I’m so sorry. I hope both of them get better.

  10. sandra January 7, 2007 at 9:37 pm

    My god, that’s awful. All my best thoughts their way…

  11. Brooke January 7, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    I’m so sorry Jack! I’ll be praying for her, and your family.

  12. rabbi neil fleischmann January 7, 2007 at 3:09 pm

    Oy, so sorry. My prayers are with you.

  13. Anonymous January 7, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    dear jack…refuah shleymah and never give up hope…my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours…shavauah tov

  14. Jameel January 7, 2007 at 12:08 pm

    Refuah Sheleima.

  15. RR January 7, 2007 at 7:23 am

    Jack, I’m so sorry. Life is so horribly unfair sometimes. But you’re right, medicine isn’t always exact, and I hope your cousin will be one of the lucky ones who proves them wrong- it’s happened before.

  16. Stacey January 7, 2007 at 6:28 am

    It’s so very sad and tragic when young people face with life-threatening illnesses. My thoughts and prayers are with your cousin and friend.

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