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Unintentionally Funny

January 9, 2007 by Jack Steiner

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I don’t think that this is supposed to be funny, but it is hard not to make quips about it.

How to Survive an Avalanche

Jan. 7, 2007 — Shortly after the avalanche occurred on a Colorado highway Saturday, Alpine Rescue Team arrived to determine whether any other cars were trapped.

Charley Shimanski, who heads up the crew, told “Good Morning America Weekend Edition” what you should do if you get caught in an avalanche while in your car.

Wear a Seat Belt

If you have your seat belt on, it will help avoid trauma as the car flips. The whole event will last about 10 seconds.

Keep Your Hands in Front of Your Face

Make sure you have your hands in front of your face. That will protect you from breaking glass. Also, it will create an air space for you if the windshield breaks and you become trapped by snow.

Shut Off Your Engine

Shut your engine off. This will help prevent carbon monoxide from getting inside the car.

Wait for Help

Finally, wait for help. You’re probably not buried as deep as you think, and people will be quickly on their way to help you.

Ok, while the car is flipping over and over for that eternal ten seconds I’ll try to remember to keep my hands in front of my face. I am concerned about a few things.

If I am in the snow I will probably have hot coffee in the car. I hope to remember to keep it in a sealed container because scalding coffee will probably make me move my hands. Of course if I get hit in the head by the Thomas Guide I might move my hands as well.

But I am still a little uncertain about the whole seatbelt thing. What if I am about to get out of the car when the avalanche hits. Will I have enough time to get back inside and attach my seatbelt. The good news is that I probably won’t have to remember to turn off the engine unless I am being dropped off in which case the driver better do it because if I survive the avalanche and die from carbon monoxide poisoning I am going to be really pissed off.

(Editor’s note: At 11 PM this is mildly humorous to me.)

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