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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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Why Am I Typing With One Hand Part Two

January 13, 2008 by Jack Steiner 1 Comment

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After almost four days of living with a splint I have gained new empathy for Captain Hook and learned a few things about myself:

  1. I have mastered the “pincer grip.” Crabs and lobsters have nothing on what I can do with my thumb and forefinger.
  2. Certain bathroom activities are much harder to do one handed.
  3. Typing can still be done with two hands, but it is awkward and looks ridiculous.
  4. I am doing less typing because it is harder than normal. I owe many of you responses to your comments.
  5. Absentmindedly scratching my nose can be painful.
  6. If I filed the end of my splint into a sharp pointy end I could become a very dangerous man or alternatively well equipped to roast marshmallows.
  7. The Shmata Queen still can’t believe how advanced medicine is. Maybe if she’d stop using the burning river as a point of reference she’d be happier. For that matter if she just listened to me she’d be happy 98.7% of the time.
  8. Driving at night is interesting. If I raise my splinted hand up from the wheel other drivers assume I am making nasty gestures at them.
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  1. Janet says

    January 15, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    Not that this really has anything to do with your post but…I used to have a miniature pinscher. We were walking on a snowy trail one day when we came across a man and his small son. Of course, Chibi (the min pin) RAN up to him and wanted to play. The little boy asked me what the dog’s name was, and then what kind of dog was he? I said miniature pinscher…and the little boy looked waaaay up to his Dad and said…I don’t want him to pinch me!!!

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