American Gladiators

Last week I dislocated the ring finger on my right hand. It happened so quickly that it didn’t hurt. One moment it was fine and then the next part of it was pointing in the wrong direction. I tried to pop it back into place. I figured that if I did it quickly I could prevent it from swelling up too much.

It was a nice idea, but it didn’t work. I tried three times, but each time I stopped. It wasn’t because it hurt, but because I was afraid that I would make it worse or permanently injure myself, which leads me to my next comment/confession.

I like watching American Gladiators. No, I don’t just like watching, I want to try out for it. I want a shot at the gladiators. I don’t care about winning the contest. I am not interested in doing it for the money. I want to do it because the competition with the gladiators intrigues me.

It is still as cheesy as the original show. It is goofy, but I wanted to do it then and I still want to do it now. But here is the difference. When I was twenty I was rock solid. I was in the best shape of my life. That is not the case now. I am not who I was. I can’t do everything I used to and that is part of why I want the shot.

I want that opportunity to stare them in the eye. I won’t smile. I won’t laugh. I won’t stand there talking trash. They producers won’t like me. I won’t look good in spandex. I won’t be the effusive, energizer rabbit. But the getting slightly older, rooting for Brett Favre crowd will love me.

There is an open casting call coming up next week, maybe I should attend. If nothing else I could have all sorts of fun filling out the application. They ask some great questions:

40) Do you smoke? Yes_______ No_______ Sometimes_______

Only when I am on fire.

43) In the lines below write a short poem or rap:

There Once was a man named Jack,
Who never once used crack.

That is pretty short. Think they’ll like it.

44) Draw a picture of yourself inside the box. I drew a picture, but it is outside of the box. I like to color outside of the lines.

55) Have you ever created a website or posted any materials on any website (including
My Space, MSN Spaces, Facebook, YouTube and similar sites?) YES NO
(Circle One)
If YES, describe the website(s) you created and/or the materials you posted.

I have a blog in which I discuss various escapades and post silly videos.

You get the gist of this. I’ll keep you posted as to what happens.

(Visited 40 times, 1 visits today)


  1. Anonymous January 21, 2008 at 8:52 am

    Don’t forget to show us pictures.

  2. Jack January 21, 2008 at 7:41 am


    I’ll wear a bag over my head. 😉


    You mean this one. 😉


    New ideas seem to be missing.


    The steroid animals might, but then again, they might not. The thrill of the battle attracts me.

  3. The Misanthrope January 21, 2008 at 1:32 am

    you might get through part of it, I only saw a minute of two of it before I turned the TV off, but those steroid animals would ultimately push you around; I am guessing since we have never met.

  4. Debbie January 21, 2008 at 1:31 am

    Everything OLD is NEW again. Nothing new in the world for television doesn’t seem like.

    Debbie Hamilton
    Right Truth

  5. Ezzie January 20, 2008 at 7:50 pm

    Come on, MiI – he could wear that old costume of his! 🙂

  6. mother in israel January 20, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    Jack, it’s not worth it–you’d lose your blogging anonymity.

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