Chores for two: Why men don’t pitch in
I don’t know how I stumbled onto this article, but something tells me that if I had somehow ended married to this amazing catch I’d be divorced.
It is a polemic about household chores and who does more. As you might have gathered this woman goes on and on and on about how hard women work and how men do not do anything around the house.
Call me what you will, but I found her shrill rant to be annoying. And the poor schlemiel she is married to, whatever is he going to think of her portrayal of him. Let’s take a look at this.
“And yet everyone acts as if Jeremy deserves some kind of medal just for making a run to the supermarket. No one has ever suggested that Iâ€™m a heroine for doing the things every mother is expected to do. I admit that my husband helps out more than many men, but hereâ€™s another news flash: It isnâ€™t because heâ€™s such a fabulously enlightened being. Left to his own devices, he would doubtless park himself in front of the TV like some sitcom male-chauvinist couch potato while I did all the work. The reason Jeremy â€œhelpsâ€ as much as he does (an offensive terminology that itself suggests whoâ€™s really being held responsible) is simple: He doesnâ€™t have a choice.
From the beginning of our relationship, I made it very clear that I wasnâ€™t going to be any husbandâ€™s unpaid servant. If Jeremy wanted to beâ€”and stayâ€”married to me, let alone have kids, he couldnâ€™t stick me with all the boring, mundane stuff nobody wants to do. We were going to share the work, or we were going to forget the whole deal.Unlike my first husband, who announced after our wedding that he didnâ€™t like the way the French laundry did his shirts and he now expected me, the Wife, to wash and iron all of them, Jeremy recognized both the righteousness of the principle involved and the intransigence of the woman heâ€™d married, and proceeded to pitch in.
That was 17 years ago, and while we havenâ€™t exactly achieved equity, weâ€™ve come a lot closer to it than most of our peers, judging by all the dreary surveys proving that men are slugs and their wives are superwomen. So how have I accomplished this? By holding my husbandâ€™s feet to the fire every single day of our lives, of course.” (emphasis added by me)
It must be nice to be married to a stereotype, a caricature of a person. The poor husband couldn’t possibly do anything by himself. Of course by using sex you can get your way. No really, you can offer it as a bribe or cut it off, just ask the amazing author.
Yes, dear readers, itâ€™s true: Maintaining some semblance of parity in your marriage requires you to deploy the same kinds of nasty tactics you swore you would never stoop to as a parent but nonetheless found yourself using the minute you actually had a kid. Bribery and punishment work; so do yelling and complaining. Threats are also effective, as long as everyone knows you mean business. With husbands, tender blandishments and nooky are particularly useful, as is the withholding of the aforementioned.
Who wants to be married to Cruella Devil. If she is half as nuts as she comes across in this piece I’d tell the man to run to the nearest divorce lawyer and get the hell out.