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Who says I love You First

December 28, 2008 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

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This has got to be one of the dumbest articles I have ever read. I have to wonder if the author truly believes what she has written or if this was a feeble attempt to meet a deadline. If you read the article you’ll see that this woman says that men should always be first to say “I love you.”

“So what happens if you get there first and you say it and he’s not there yet? What happens when your “I love you” is met with a “thank you,” or worse, a deer-in-headlights look? Well, it stings, sure, but more than that, it can stop a perfectly happy and healthy relationship in its tracks before it’s even too far from the station.

If a woman asks a man out and he says ‘no,’ at least she knows where she stands with him and she doesn’t waste any time pining over someone who isn’t interested. Same thing goes if she makes a move on him and she’s rejected.

If she’s in a serious relationship — one where the expression of love has been made clearly by both partners — and she’s eager to make a deeper commitment, there’s nothing wrong with proposing. At the very least, it’ll start a conversation of where the relationship is headed so the woman can decide for herself if and how long she’s willing to wait if the man isn’t interested in getting married yet.

But an “I love you” uttered too soon, before the man has processed his feelings and reached the same level of adoration could end a relationship that just as easily could have had an eternal shelf life. As soon as those words are said, they change the dynamic. If a man isn’t feeling the love quite yet, he may suddenly feel pressure to manifest that emotion. And if the woman doesn’t get the response she expected, it could damage her confidence enough to derail the whole relationship entirely.”

I suppose that part of what annoys me about this nonsense is that there is a lack of logic here or at least a lack of acknowledgement that men run the same risk. If a man tells a woman that he is in love with her he risks her bolting from the relationship just as she does in the reverse.

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