Allow me to have a Ricky Henderson moment. Today Old Jack found himself feeling rather ornery and irritated. Blame some of it on the crazy women he had to deal with, but the majority can be attributed to ‘rasslin with technology.
It started mid morning when the ‘puter decided that it wasn’t going to cooperate with me. First me internet connection (when did I decide to go pirate arrrgh!) got a bad case of the hiccups. For a while it was in and out and in and out. That is a nice place to get a burger or a fine way to spend some free time but it is not the way to surf the net.
So I did what every civilized man does and I threatened the modem, the computer, the little guy inside the computer that puts the words on the screen and the hamsters that power it all. When that didn’t work I threatened to hit Ma Bell so hard she wouldn’t touch the ground until cleveland wins a championship.
Who knew that the old broad was a sports fan because just as soon as I mentioned that the connection magically repaired itself. The dame must have realized that the land of the burning river hasn’t won anything in eons.
Of course the relief I felt was shortlived as I encountered a number of other kinks. There is nothing like knowing how much more productive you are because of technology and how much less you are because of technology.
But old Jack the ornery cuss is a stubborn and determined man who doesn’t give up and eventually I found solutions to my computer issues. They weren’t perfect, but they got me over the hump.
And then just as I really began to feel like I could relax my %$&$&%(^ BlackBerry stopped working properly. Wrestling with the freaking thing I try to send a text message out. I manage to type the number and the following letters “FU” and the freaking thing flies off into the ether. Moments later an angry shmata queen wants to know why I am cursing at her.
Queenie, you should know better. If I was to send you a nasty text it would be clear. I don’t mess around like some teenager who relies upon some screwy short hand. Speaking of that I really dislike messages like c u l8tr from adults. Don’t care if that makes me sound like a curmudgeon, I am.
Anyhoo, went to Verizon and the fine folks there appeared to have fixed my BlackBerry. It worked properly for about 30 minutes and then decided to say “FU” to me. Isn’t that just dandy.