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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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When Parents Die

April 1, 2009 by Jack Steiner

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There is someone very dear to me who is in the midst of a terrible challenge. Out of respect I won’t divulge their name but I’ll say that one of their parents is very ill. It is with them in mind that I write this post.

Actually the previous post was sort of inspired by them too. Not sure that inspire is the appropriate word, but it will work for now.

Life and death has been a fairly common theme here. I suppose that part of it has to do with my own experiences. I have been to more funerals than I care to think about. Many of my friends have lost a parent. Some of them were quite young, but most were somewhere between their teenage years and their twenties.

One of these days I want to try and find out if my experience is normal or abnormal because it seems to me that I have been to many more funerals than most people I know. Or maybe it is my own misconception, not like we keep funeral scorecards.

In my effort to support my friend I have been thinking about this a lot. I have wanted to be able to say something that would help ease their pain. Their parent hasn’t died, but is terminally ill. No telling exactly how long it will go on.

I feel badly because what can I say. I can listen, but I can’t offer any profound insight. Maybe it is arrogant of me to want to be able to fix things. But I do.

Anyway, if you read this please know that I think about this more than you realize. I don’t always bring it up because I want you to feel like you have some space from it, but I do think about it.

One more piece of business. Here are some past posts that tie into this topic:

Coping With Sick Parents
Coping With Sick Parents Part II
Death- My Son Asked Me Not to Die
Death Comes For Us All- When Do you Start Saying Goodbye

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Filed Under: Life and Death

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