Baptizing The Bear


A little humor for you.

A Priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of The University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preachingto people isn’t really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to conduct an experiment. They would take a trip to the Smokey Mountains to go find a bear, preach to it and convert it.

One week later they reassembled to discuss the results of their trip.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, spoke first.

‘I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So, I quickly grabbed my Holy Water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb.

The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.’

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he exclaimed, ‘WELL brothers, you KNOW that WE don’t sprinkle!

I went out and I FOUND me a bear.

And then I began to read to my bear from God’s HOLY WORD!

But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrassle. We wrassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.

So right quick-like, I DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his furry soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.’

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed.

He was in really bad shape. He was in a body cast and had multiple lines running in and out of him

His colleagues looked at him and waited for him to relate his experience, looking up at the two men he said, ‘Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.

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