Archives for September 2009

The L.A. Jewish Journal recently ran an opinion piece called “Cooperation and Consolidation Needed on Jewish Web.” The piece discussed some of the challenges faced by the media in general and Jewish media in specific.

The damn thing made my head hurt.

Why?

Because they did a very poor job of turning a report into something that is not just easy to read, but inviting and interesting to the reader.

Guys, this should have been simple.

Introduction: What is this about? American Jewish media is fighting to stay afloat for many of the same reasons as general media. Advertising revenue is needed.
Body:  Here is what the report found. Facts, figures, blah, blah support our analysis.
Conclusion: If American Jewish media is to survive here is what needs to happen facts, figures analysis, blah, blah, blah.

Instead you force fed me garbage like this:

“Beyond just unique site traffic, visitor engagement patterns (generated by Quantcast) also suggest the American Jewish news industry is too fragmented on the Internet. Not only do visitors spend significantly more time per visit when perusing the Israeli sites, but many more of those visitors are regulars (people who visit more than once per month) and addicts (people who visit more than 30 times per month). Because of this “addict” phenomenon, a quarter of the traffic to Haaretz.com and JPost.com is generated by just 2 percent of their users. In contrast, only JTA.org has any sort of measurable traffic generated by addicts — 11 percent. A better strategy for U.S. sites would involve more regular updates (not weekly or semi-regularly) and a wider and deeper offering to encourage habitual readership.”

Someone dropped the ball editing this. If they had spent longer than the five minutes I just spent typing this up they could have had something far more compelling and useful. Instead it is dull, garbled and incoherent.

This is not going to get it done.

Hi gang,

I am the lucky recipient of some Amazon gift certificate moolah and am thinking about purchasing a new iPod. Curious to get feedback as to your opinions about the Touch versus the Nano.

Does anyone have any amazing thoughts to share?

The nice thing about September 11 rolling around is that it does a great job of shaking all of the wing nuts, morons, conspiracy theorists and general idiots out of the bushes.

Yep, I just went out and insulted a bunch of people and I intend to continue doing so. I am a snob about a number of things. I believe in education. I believe in reading. I believe in being informed current events and educated on classical topics and various other areas.

I believe in RIF, that reading is fundamental and that a mind is a terrible thing to waste. During this past week I was privileged to converse with members of our society who explained to me why Bush is Satan, Obama is the devil and a vast government conspiracy fooled the public into believing that 9-11 was a terrorist attack.

Sometimes I wonder why I submit to this sort of punishment because scientists have proven that engaging in discussion with these people actually makes you think dumberer, stupider and more idioticker than normal peoples.

See, just thinking about this hurts my head and my typing. I am fairly certain that my I.Q. small as it is shrunk by three points making me dumb enough to be eligible to join Mensa. In case you are wondering that was a slam, an insult and a dig. Why is it every member of Mensa I have ever met is the working definition of social misfit. They can’t all be bad. They can’t all lack social graces, but I digress.

The discussions that I referred to took place in both the online and real world. Without fail they railed on about whatever issue they supported without regard for fact or logic. I know the drill, if you don’t have factual support yelling loudly sometimes works. If you don’t have support for your position you can follow the great advice of Mel, the chef on Alice, “Sometimes the best defense is a great offense.”

But I find that to be offensive. If you really want to convince me that your position is correct I want to know how you reached it. I want the facts and I want to see how they add up. The good old Shmata Queen has a degree in Math and can confirm that sometimes there is more than one way to solve a problem.

If you really want to get her excited start talking about Applied Math, especially differential equations. Boy, we have had some fun with those, especially as they apply to the spontaneous combustion of rivers in Ohio. Been meaning to ask Ezzie to join in the fun we have talking about flames and formula, but I digress.

Anyway, let’s get back to the tools, er people who I spoke to. One fine gentleman explained to me that the towers were brought down with explosives because they couldn’t have collapsed the way that they did otherwise.

When I asked him how he supported his claim he explained that one doesn’t have to be an engineer to know this. It is just obvious. I told him that wasn’t good enough for me and he rolled his eyes. I asked him how big a 757 is and how much fuel it carries.

He couldn’t answer the question. Frankly without my lovely assistant, Google, I wouldn’t know either. I asked him to review the physics of the situation and what would happen if something that large slammed into a building. He tried to tell me that it couldn’t knock the building down. He tried to give me some sort of nonsensical excuse as to why he didn’t need to know about structural engineering.

I didn’t buy it and told him so. I don’t believe that there was any sort of government conspiracy behind 9-11. I think that those of you who do need help.

Moving on to the people who told me that Obama is a closet communist, elitist and crazy socialist. Let me clarify something, I am not a big fan of his. But I don’t run around playing chicken little either. I don’t  think that a lot people understand what being a socialist is and can’t tell you why it is better than worse than other ideologies.

But I don’t want to get distracted by that, let’s hit the talk about being an elitist.

I believe that there is merit and value to elitism in specific areas. I want doctors, lawyers, mechanics and presidents to be elite.

Let’s look at the definition for a moment, specifically 1B.

n., pl. elite or e·lites.

1. 1. A group or class of persons or a member of such a group or class, enjoying superior intellectual, social, or economic status: â€œIn addition to notions of social equality there was much emphasis on the role of elites and of heroes within them” (Times Literary Supplement).

   2. The best or most skilled members of a group: the football team’s elite.

2. A size of type on a typewriter, equal to 12 characters per linear inch.

I like 1B. I want the people that work for me, on me and around me to fit that definition.  I don’t think that you have to go to an Ivy League school to be a 1B, but I can’t say that I totally care. If you are the surgeon that is about to operate on me you better be a 1B.

This class warfare nonsense is stupid and harmful. It all falls under my belief that political partisanship is killing us. Why must we be led by idiots who spend more time trying to catch the other side in an embarrassing situation than upon trying to find a solution.

I don’t know that I believe that Obama’s healthcare plan is going to be viable. Can’t say for certain that it is going to work. But the idea of providing more affordable healthcare to more people is not bad. It is smart. It makes sense.

Call me anal, but for once I’d like to hear someone say that they believe in the concept but not in how it is supposed to be executed.

All I know is that sometimes dealing with people makes my melon hurt. Think I am going to crawl back into my cave now.