Damn That Guy

Damn that Clark Kent’s Lunchbox guy. I spend half my time trying to come up with a way to outdo him. Yes mommy bloggers, the sordid truth is that sometimes we daddy bloggers have our own drama. Y’all might be fighting over being a brand ambassador for Playtex or Coach, but that is nothing compared to having to fight the man of steel.

Really, the man is a published author and has a better name for his blog. And if that wasn’t enough he cleverly proves that he is far cooler than I am by claiming he is uncool in a guest blog. I couldn’t get away with saying that I got weepy during a Matthew McConaughey movie. You’d read that and think that Jack is one sick and twisted puppy. Ok, you probably think that already-but if you didn’t then you would and what would happen then.

And then just to add insult to injury the man pours acid on my wounds by allowing me to be a guest blogger over at his joint. If you haven’t read Jack Explains The Rules Of Guest Blogging…In A Guest Blog or The Random Thoughts Of Jack Be Nimble you are missing out. Yes, that is shameless promotion but when one is fighting to be a blogging superstar there are things that you must do.

Which is why I should mention that our man is speaking at the M3 conference while yours truly will be home drinking from his cup of bitterness. The premier daddy blogger conference that is going to set the tone for the coming revolution and me, the chief revolutionary not there. Yep, I might as well get drunk and lay down in a ditch you bastards. Damn, I wish that you could have heard me growl that last line, I am getting really good at being the grand old curmudgeon of daddy bloggers.

But I can accept these things. I can deal with it all because I am a big boy and that is what big boys do. On a side note that reminds me of something- parents buy your children shoes with laces as it galls me to no end to see 15 year-old boys who have mastered the X-Box become befuddled and betwixt when they graduate from velcro to shoe laces.

And now that we have let the train run straight off of the tracks let’s try to reset and get back on topic. Where were we? Oh yes, Mr. Lunchbox we were about to talk about you and your GI system. Dammit, I have made my bones here in the blogosphere with classic GI tales like Jack’s Experience In the Ladies Room, I have a dsyfunctional digestive system and A Little Digestive Distress- Chicken Vindaloo.

So I am ready to throw down the gauntlet and match your forays into flatulence. Bring on the biological warfare because I love to battle and allow me to say that you really don’t want to be blown away in this battle.

And now you must excuse me I am in search of a monster burrito, some chocolate milk and an energy drink. That should set me up nicely for quite the tale of bathroom blogging. So do your best to be Charmin, you Mr. Whipple wannabe- I am ready.

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  1. @DrShawn2ThePhD August 20, 2010 at 9:23 am

    LMAO….Ok, I am so ENVIOUS of you all! Geesh! I just started my blog two weeks ago and I cry every time I see Matthew!!! It's not fair and shouldn't be legal to be that perfect. Grrr If I were a violent man I would punch him for being Mr Sexy, instead I just secretly wish I looked like him, but maintained my own brain please. 🙂 Jack your writing is on my radar now for sure. **I have to secretly go peek at Lunchbox now too though** lol

  2. TheJackB August 19, 2010 at 7:28 am

    I am quite appreciative of that. Always surprised that people read my rambling. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

  3. Rose August 19, 2010 at 6:17 am

    Don't be that hard on yourself Jack. You have a nice fan base here. 😛
    My recent post Sex in advertising

  4. TheJackB August 19, 2010 at 5:35 am

    Class is just beginning- just you wait and see.
    My recent post For the Love of the Game and Learning How To Get Along

  5. Minnesota Mamaleh August 19, 2010 at 2:00 am

    not to get in the midst of boys being boys or anything, but i just wanted to say nicely done, friend, this was a classy one. even *with* all of the bathroom talk! 🙂
    My recent post Minnesota Mamaleh- Slow Religion Anyone

  6. TheJackB August 19, 2010 at 12:23 am

    That is a nice start- I think I shall look into it.
    My recent post For the Love of the Game and Learning How To Get Along

  7. johncaveosborne August 19, 2010 at 12:07 am

    nice work, jack.

    however, may i be as bold as to recommend a nice bean dip w/ a salsa chaser?
    My recent post My Interview With Lovie

  8. johncaveosborne August 19, 2010 at 12:06 am

    shit. you've been on my radar, keith, since the first time i read word one from you!
    My recent post My Interview With Lovie

  9. TheJackB August 18, 2010 at 11:46 pm

    Believe me Keith, I am paying close attention to you because when you lead the revolution I want to be there.
    My recent post For the Love of the Game and Learning How To Get Along

  10. TheJackB August 18, 2010 at 11:46 pm

    I have six years of blogging and more than ten thousand posts- most of which are horrible. I think that if there is a Mendoza Line I am well below it.

    M3 is going to be a lot of fun- if there was a way to get there I'd probably do it 'cuz it would be a pleasure to meet you and the fellas. One day.
    My recent post For the Love of the Game and Learning How To Get Along

  11. Keith Wilcox August 18, 2010 at 9:48 pm

    M3. Yeah, I'm not going to go either. For some reason, despite totally kicking ass, I"m not on anybody's radar. 🙂 That's probably a good thing because now I can just sneak around and quietly take over the world. That's how it works, right?
    My recent post Calligraphy Lessons- the Palmer Method

  12. CK_Lunchbox August 18, 2010 at 9:31 pm


    So l'm confused. Are you challenging me to a blog fart contest? Because I've got a few year's worth of posts that just plain stink. I mean they could rot through diapers (this is why I have no archive feature listed on my site).

    I so wish there was a way to get you to M3 somehow. You're among a small group of guys who I respect and admire as writers, dads and men. At some point in life, I'd like to shake your hand and say that face to face. Just don't arm yourself with a monster burrito beforehand.

    Thanks Jack.

  13. SeattleDad August 18, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    Are you The Sharks, or The Jets? Cause I need to pick a side and I'd much rather be a Jet. I'd rather fly than swim.
    My recent post Go Around Again!

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