More than twenty years ago I sat on a bench at a camp in Canada listening to Randy Newman singing I Love L.A. It is kind of a goofy song but I can’t help but love it.
“Hate New York City
It’s cold and it’s damp
And all the people dressed like monkeys
Let’s leave Chicago to the Eskimos
That town’s a little bit too rugged
For you and me you bad girl”
As a certified professional troublemaker these lyrics speak to me, especially when you are educating a group of Detroit Piston fans on why the Lakers are so dominant. It is probably worth noting that talking about sports is an exceptionally good way to make people lose their minds. Don’t know what it is or why- but sports can make ordinary people act extraordinarily dumb. Just ask the fans of the Browns and they’ll tell you I am right.
Anyway, one of the ten thousand reasons why I love this silly medium we call blogging is that I can write my moods away. Yes, I just wrote write my moods away. I said it, I meant it and I did it. Ya see, this dear old dad sometimes suffers moments of frustration. I know, it is hard to believe that I, the most patient man in the world could ever be frustrated. Even more difficult to believe that sometimes I get angry either.
But truth is that I do get both frustrated and angry. Now if I lived in Boston, detroit or cleveland I’d take out my anger by starting a riot or setting the river on fire. If I lived in London I’d yell something like, “Manchester United fans are wankers” and hooligans would come pouring out from every pub. But I am a fortunate son and haven’t suffered the abuse of those who are forced to live in any of these places.
And more importantly I am the role model for some children. Yep, I know, stop laughing. Not only can my boys swim they know how to hop fences, kick down doors and then some. Don’t really know why I added that last part, the idea of having commando sperm is for some reason funny to me. I should add on behalf of my children that each and every one of you were planned.
Ok, kids if that doesn’t make you want to wash your eyes out with bleach I am not sure what will. Oy, what have I done. 😉
Anyhoo, this morning I found myself fighting through the throes of a bad mood brought upon me by a bad dream. Couldn’t remember what it was that I dreamt about, just that I didn’t like it. So I decided that it would be better to blog than to kick a cat or punch a hole in the wall.
Relax cat lovers- I hate cats but I haven’t ever kicked one. Nor have I punched or assaulted any cat physically. However I cannot lie- I have yelled at them more than once and offered to provide them with free fare to some island far away from here.
And that my friends is I how I found myself sitting here, sharing these ridiculous words with all of you fine people. Even better the bad mood has lifted and I find myself ready, waiting and able to kick the crap out of this day. Lots to do and I am just the man to do it.