A Word To The Wives

Here is some friendly advice that I like to call a word to the wives, specifically those of you who enjoy blogging. A blog is a wonderful tool that you can use to build relationships with others, express your thoughts and learn about yourself. When you are upset it is useful to use your blog as a place to vent and certainly if you have friends in the blogosphere it is a good place to find support.

However, I recommend that you not use it as a place to write stories about how your husband pisses you off. You may think that it is funny to paint him as a buffoon or moron. You may find that it feels good to have a good laugh at his expense. You may find that sharing your stories is cathartic and that you resent him less for whatever it is that he is doing to irritate you.

If you choose to do this you should bear in mind that it might not serve you as well as you would like. He might find your stories to be less than cute. He might decide that it makes him angry for you to share these stories and as a result your venting creates a brand new issue to deal with. It is the sort of trouble that you can easily avoid.

We’re not perfect. Men find all sorts of way to create problems and issues for ourselves. I know this because I happen to be an expert at wreaking havoc. Still, we try to teach our children not to get involved in this kind of nonsense and that is what it is…nonsense.

It is your relationship so do what you want, but don’t be surprised if he surprises you with more behavior that you don’t like or his own set of posts documenting all of the stupid crap that you do. It may seem like we are oblivious to a lot of things but our silence isn’t always indicative of lack of awareness. Like you we sometimes hold back because we don’t want to fight. Like you we sometimes choose to be quiet because we don’t think that the outcome is worth it.

But don’t think that we don’t notice or that we don’t sometimes talk to the fellows about what happens. I have been part of conversations where the guys share stories or ask questions. There is a reason why some topics never appear on this blog. It is not because I am so smart- but I just don’t need the additional chaos in my life.

So the next time you share a story about how incapable your husband is remember he might be telling his pal stories that would piss you off too. That old phrase, “If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy” goes both directions.

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  1. TheJackB September 29, 2010 at 10:15 pm

    It only take a moment to think about some of these things- but that is the thing about life. It can all change in that same moment.
    My recent post Dancing at the Movies – Music Video

  2. Debbie September 29, 2010 at 8:01 pm

    good point! I am single..BUT, am still aware of those I might hurt! SOME I post about any way.. 🙂 but never without really considering the way it will sound and if its worth it…
    My recent post Kind of personalbut why not

  3. TheJackB September 29, 2010 at 7:29 pm

    I am in agreement that men should be aware of it too. Most of the off color stories here are about me. If I include family members it is usually something that I am not worried about. I am too proficient at getting myself in trouble to add to the ways I can do it.
    My recent post Dancing at the Movies – Music Video

  4. Kristen September 29, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    You and I are on the same wavelength today, Jack. I just wrote about the cringe-worthy experience of reading a blog-turned-book in which the author writes truly embarrassing things about her husband and other friends and family.

    When I started blogging, my husband and I agreed that certain things would stay private. And they have.

    I would, of course, hope that men-who-blog follow the same advice you lay out here.
    My recent post What’s Your Book Rejection Policy

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