“In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes alongâ€
And So It Goes- Billy Joel
My seventies girl once told me that she thought that most of my music sucked. I laughed and said seventies girl sucks too. She tossed her hair back, smiled and turned towards the sea.
We sat in silence and watched the waves roll in and out. As we sat there, our fingers intertwined I felt our souls smile and let my mind wander where it would.
Water gives life. It also takes it away. Wind and waves. I told her once that I could see how the ocean could become my mistress. The sounds of the sea called out to me and touched the wanderlust within. She took her hand and turned my face towards her and stared into my eyes.
I knew her thoughts before she spoke them and promised to take her wherever it was I went. “You are the song of my heart and what happens to you happens to me.†A soft kiss graced my lips and we sat again in silence.
We who had never known such happiness never knew that one day we would know such sorrow. It had seemed impossible that two people could meet under such circumstances as we did and not end up together. Signs and symbols serenaded our souls healing the scars of the past and opening up opportunities of the future.
Her presence made me stand a little bit taller and made my muscles a little bit stronger. In turn I taught her to relax and let another carry the load. Her burden didn’t have to be borne alone and when she finally let go I carried her effortlessly.
We were partners. We were friends. We were lovers. It is hard to write these words, ‘we were†when my heart says that they should read “we are.
Sometimes I head to the beach again and think of the days when we sailed together. The sounds of the sea call out to me and I think of that day when I spoke of my mistress the sea and wonder if perhaps the time has come to set sail again.
I stand alone on the beach and watch the waves roll towards the shore. I wonder about what lies beneath the surface and absentmindedly turn towards you but you are not there. A wistful smile works its way across my face.
Had you been there I would have mentioned the tsunami and how incredible the power of the ocean is. I would have talked about the secrets that it keeps and how amazing it is that one moment the sea can be calm and the next it is raging.
Water gives life. It also takes it away. Wind and waves.
The contradiction of the water as deliverer of life and death would have made for a great conversation. It fit us, this contradiction. We who “were†or perhaps one day “will be.â€
“So I would choose to be with you
That’s if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to breakâ€
This was written based upon a prompt from The Red Dress Club
Water gives life. It also takes it away.
Write a short piece – fiction or non-fiction – inspired by one or both of these statements.
Word maximum is 600.
Water gives life. It also takes it away.
Write a short piece – fiction or non-fiction – inspired by one or both of these statements.
Word maximum is 600.
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Yuliya March 6, 2011 at 9:09 am
I’m choosing to focus on the optimism of the first part of the song “until a new one comes along”. Nicely done.
Jack March 7, 2011 at 12:51 am
Thank you. Optimism is good, much better to be positive than negative.
Mad Woman behind the Blog March 5, 2011 at 3:22 pm
Oh yes, my romantic heart is doing a happy dance, and swaying to the sound of Billy Joel. I have loved that song for more years than I want to admit.
How beautiful, to put the two lovers together, the woman and the ocean. How both can give and take away, be given and taken away.
You are an artist.
Jack March 5, 2011 at 11:29 pm
Sometimes we get lucky and we find a way to make it all work together. I like songs that tell stories, so that one really works for me.
Mommylebron March 5, 2011 at 1:04 pm
You pieces always make me swoon and sigh, hopeless romantic that I am. When ever I’m feeling all heart heavy and sappy (and let’s face it, I’m a girl) I like to read Nicholas Sparks and your writing reminds me very much of his.
I don’t think I could pick a favorite line, the whole thing was fabulous.
Jack March 5, 2011 at 11:28 pm
I have never read any of his work, but it sounds like I should check it out. Thank you for visiting again, it is appreciated.
Victoria KP March 5, 2011 at 11:49 am
Very genuine–I could easily assume this was a memory and not fiction.
And–that’s a great song by Billy Joel!
Jack March 5, 2011 at 12:22 pm
It is one of my favorite songs by Billy Joel. I am a big fan of science fiction and fantasy, but I also like to write stories that straddle the fence between fiction and reality.
Leslie March 5, 2011 at 8:09 am
So poetic, beautiful! Relationships can die and end just like anything else in live, and we mourn them just the same.
Jack March 5, 2011 at 12:21 pm
People fascinate me- you never know what we’ll do or why. So many variables, so many possibilities.
Ash March 5, 2011 at 7:56 am
Absolutely read like poetry. So heartbreakingly gorgeous. I love your style.
So happy to see another gentleman added to the mix. A little testosterone to balance out all the estrogen 🙂 One of my favorites from Billy Joel as well. Seventies girl needs to appreciate.
Jack March 5, 2011 at 12:20 pm
Well I am “here” because of Brandon Duncan’s encouragement and very glad to be a part of it all. I love writing so this is a lot of fun for me. Thank you for coming by.
Lydia March 5, 2011 at 7:05 am
Your writing has the ability to pain hearts…that’s meant in a good way. I was definitely pulled into this story, their story. Did you write somewhere of what tore them apart? Will you if you haven’t already?
Jack March 5, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Many of the Fragments of Fiction posts deal with them in one way or another. You can try looking in there.
Erin March 4, 2011 at 9:29 pm
This is so beautiful!
A love story of the heart!
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:23 pm
Thank you. The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants.
Ilana March 4, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Such a powerful tale of love lost. I like how you focus on the pleasure of the memory rather than the pain of the loss.
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:23 pm
Bitter and edgy can be fun, but I wrote this after having hung out with my daughter so I was too happy for that.
Denelle March 4, 2011 at 5:32 pm
I love the way this piece flowed… so very sad, though! It’s always hard to let go of that perfect connection with someone.
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Some of the boys and I talk about whether those connections can be broken.
Tracie March 4, 2011 at 5:31 pm
This pulls up strong emotion for me.
I have thoughts of a “we were” that I still struggle not being a “we are”.
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:18 pm
I am sorry for that. It must be hard.
Renee March 4, 2011 at 4:23 pm
Sigh, so lovely and sad.
This is so well written.
Previous commenter is right. Try more poetry.
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:17 pm
I might venture back into that garden, not sure if I’ll publish it.
Jennifer March 4, 2011 at 2:06 pm
His ache for their lost connection is so palpable it made this piece hard to read because I knew as a reader there was no relief for him yet over that loss.
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:17 pm
Sometimes stories have more power when they are left unresolved.
Carrie March 4, 2011 at 2:02 pm
This was heartbreaking. I love the imagery, the words you used to describe their relationship. So sad at the “we were” when you just want them to be together forever!
Great job. I loved it.
Visiting from RDC
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:16 pm
Well, in this particular story I thought that it might be fun to leave an opening for a future. Thank you for coming by.
Shell March 4, 2011 at 1:20 pm
So romantic. And heartbreaking.
This: “It is hard to write these words, ‘we were†when my heart says that they should read ‘we are.'” spoke to me. B/c I have a relationship from my past like that.
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:15 pm
A dear friend once told me that sometimes the best stories are the most tragic. I am not sure if I agree with him. I just know that I am a dreamer who thinks that sometimes people can find a way. Or maybe that is my character speaking. 😉
Mandy March 4, 2011 at 12:46 pm
I love the love between the two. I find it challenging, sometimes, to tell if a piece is meant to be fiction or is actually non-fiction… and I think that’s a good thing! If fiction can be written well enough to seem real, it’s incredibly well done.
The love is very powerful, very palpable. I also very much enjoyed reading about love from a male view, and am so glad you participated!
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:14 pm
I like writing stories that blur the lines between fiction and reality. It is fun to create a world where it is unclear what is what.
Amy March 4, 2011 at 10:12 am
Great piece! This is so beautifully written I want to keep reading!
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:13 pm
Maybe I’ll try to add to it.
Jenn March 4, 2011 at 10:10 am
Wow, your words transport me, right to the spot. They make me feel what you are feeling. Strong, but gentle. Stopping in from trdc.
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:11 pm
As a writer/storyteller that is my goal and my hope. If I can show you what I see I know that I am doing my job.
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:13 pm
Thank you for coming by, I appreciate it.
(Florida) Girl with a New Life March 4, 2011 at 9:06 am
This read a little like poetry. If you have never given poetry a whirl you might want to give it a try. You sound like you have a poet in you.
Stopping by from TRDC.
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:06 pm
Thank you. I tried writing poetry a while back but it felt cheap and stilted so I got rid of it. This sort of writing is easier for me.
Leighann March 4, 2011 at 8:10 am
This flowed effortlessly like a love story.
My favorite line: “Her burden didn’t have to be borne alone and when she finally let go I carried her effortlessly”
Beautiful.
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:05 pm
It seems to me that a lot of women feel like they have too much work, so having someone you can rely upon to help carry the load made sense.
CDG March 4, 2011 at 8:04 am
dreamy and enigmatic.
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:03 pm
Dreamy and enigmatic- sounds good to me. Kind of reminds me of a candy bar- enigmatic calorie counts are good. 😉
Sara March 4, 2011 at 7:48 am
To me, this story is about “the relationship” we all have that should have lasted, but did not. I think this relationship stays in our hearts; it starts as a painful sore that only partially heals and remains slightly sore to the touch, yet we do touch it….to remind ourselves of how special it was. Your story captured that feeling for me.
I loved your line, “We who “were†or perhaps one day “will be.†I do hope that this will happen, even if not the same person, but someone else who awakens those feelings again:~)
Well written and thank you for sharing this.
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:03 pm
Hi Sara,
We should all have the kind of relationship that touches the places in our hearts that we didn’t know exist. I understand that those can change a person and their outlook on life.
cristina March 4, 2011 at 6:26 am
this is probably one of the most romantic pieces I have read. your words are romantic, sad and poetic.
I love this. Love it.
Jack March 4, 2011 at 11:01 pm
Hi Cristina,
Thank you. I just thought of an idea and ran with it.