A Detour

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It is no secret that I have spent more than a few minutes thinking about you, wondering what you are doing and who you are doing it with. If I listened to the experts you’d never hear a word from me or about me. I’d be nothing more than a ghost in time, a memory of someone you once knew.

And if my past was any guide than that is how it would have gone down. We would have said whatever it is two people say to each other before they leave and then I would have walked out of your life and found whatever was waiting for me. That is how it had always gone before so it was more than a little shocking to me that it didn’t happen now.

But who am I kidding, this thing we share has never been conventional, ordinary or normal. It has always been something….more. A moment in time that never yellows with age or withers with time. I don’t have to close my eyes to see my girl or stare at your picture. I don’t have to smell your perfume to remember because I always sense your presence. You are always with me, the song of my heart.

The song of my heart you touch those places inside that others are refused entry to. Your smile warms my soul and makes me believe that I can do things that I might not otherwise dare to consider. There is a beauty and grace that you carry with you.

So I suppose that some people would be surprised that we are not together. Shocked that so much love and potential would remain unfulfilled. Dumbfounded that circumstances conspired to prevent us from taking that next step into the world that we still dream of building. Heck, I can’t quite figure out how it is that we haven’t figured out how to bridge the gap.

Faith and hope are what carry me through the night. Little glimpses of things we hold dear to ourselves and to each other serve as reminders. Memories of kisses that made my skin tingle and the ache of the hole that exists when you are not by my side. These things are with me for good or for worse.

Goofy quotes like the one  from A Wonderful Life make me smile.

George Bailey: What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon, Mary.
Mary: I’ll take it. Then what?
George Bailey: Well, then you can swallow it, and it’ll all dissolve, see… and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair… am I talking too much?

They make me smile because you make me want to try to give you the moon. They make me smile because I try to be cool and suave around you and end up babbling like a fool. Even now years later you sometimes make me stutter and stumble.

Little moments in time surround me. Memories of what was, faith and hope in what could be, they are there too. For now that is all there is and there are no guarantees that it will change. There is no Love Potion number 9 available for sale and even if there were I wouldn’t purchase it. That is not how I want it to be.

For now I hope that you walk in the arms of the angel and carry my blessing and promise. If all goes as we wish then one day this will be nothing more than a small chapter in the story we continue to write. Stay safe, be strong and I will see you in the echoes of our future.

This was for the Red Dress Club. This week’s Red Writing Hood assignment is to write – fiction or non-fiction – about a time when you took a detour. Where had you intended to go and where did you end up?

Your word limit is 600.

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30 Comments

  1. Pingback: I Hear Music - The JackB

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  3. Kris March 20, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    Came straight to the Red Dress Club post, because I wanted to see how you handled a prompt. I hate prompts . . . too many people allow the prompt to rule their words. I am pleased to see that you bent the prompt to your will.

    This post is lovely.

    “I will see you in the echoes of our future?”

    Oh, I like that very much. Love the suggestion that in some form? The future will be shared.

    Very nice.

  4. Brandon March 19, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    Wow. The piece is good, Jack, but that video, holy crap! Where on earth did you find that?! I had chills after watching it!

    People often say that they want to know…whatever. I don’t think most people could handle it. I’ll stay in the dark, thank you. Cool idea with the video.

    • Jack March 20, 2011 at 2:04 am

      Hi Brandon,

      Someone sent the video to me last year. This is the second or third time I found a way to work it into a post. I am with you, I am not sure that I want to know the future. I kind of like the mystery,

  5. Karen March 19, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    Such a lovely tale of the heart, written and read in an almost dreamlike state.

  6. Melanie March 18, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Jack,

    Loved this. Loved the honesty and vulnerability that come through the voice of your narrator. Such great insight into his mind. Amazing. Your writing is so lyrical in style, it made reading this such a pleasure. I’m a new fan. Beautiful, beautiful post!

    Visiting from TRDC.

  7. Leighann March 18, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    Jack.
    Your writing takes my breath away.
    Literally.
    I hold my breath when I am reading your words.
    I want to weep for the heart ache that is on the page, for the arms spread wide open allowing the love to be free but still waiting for when the love wants to return.
    I’m in awe.

  8. Cheryl March 18, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    What I love about this Jack is I always think it’s women who pine and analyze and dream, and I love that this is from the man’s perspective.

  9. Galit Breen March 18, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    Jack, as always, this was so word-smithy and lovely.I love your poetry, one-liners and the connections that you make!

  10. Renee March 18, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    This gave me the feeling of a heart speaking. Open and vunerable.
    A heart speaking truth.

  11. Sara March 18, 2011 at 10:36 am

    Your words are so beautiful and the love shines through them. This story is very well written and so poignant that I ache inside. I also believe you wrote another story about this woman…it feels familiar?

    In this story you’ve captured the feeling that many of us have felt at some time. The special relationship that just missed being right. I can think my own and they still trail through my mind every once in awhile, like lovely pieces of music that I hear one moment and then they fade, but do not disappear.

    We all make different choices regarding love. Do we wait for it and hope that fate will bring us back together or do we move on, with the knowledge that we will carry this memory and bear the weight of the “what ifs?” I like that you are trusting fate to build that bridge. Perhaps you are wiser than most.

    BTW I thought the video was perfect for this story.

    • Jack March 19, 2011 at 8:24 am

      That is always the rub, the road not taken. We sit and wonder what would have happened if we had tried one last time or driven a mile further. As for love, well that is a big question. Some people think that sometimes it is not enough and others will tell you that is enough to power the sun.

      Thanks for coming by.

  12. Talkative Taurus March 18, 2011 at 10:05 am

    What a beautiful story for the assignment. It was definitely a view through a very deeply touched heart. I have always loved that part of It’s a Wonderful Life. George Bailey was so wonderful! The video was pretty touching, too. Great job!

  13. Pamela Gold March 18, 2011 at 9:08 am

    I could sit here all day and pick out line after line of goodies from this post. Such strong love you have for this woman. Your words dance like a song across the page and the words mold right from your heart. Beautiful.

    Also? Flying monkeys would have totally rocked!

  14. Ilana March 18, 2011 at 8:50 am

    Is this post about the sma ewoman you wrote about a couple of week’s ago? She obviously holds a very powerful place in your heart.

  15. Jennifer March 18, 2011 at 8:19 am

    I thought it was so interesting that you were writing about someone whose name we never know, and we get no concrete information about, and yet I felt like I didn’t need it. There are many lovely lines in this piece, and it has the feel of a black and white vintage photograph. One of my favorite lines was, ‘There is no Love Potion number 9 available for sale and even if there were I wouldn’t purchase it. That is not how I want it to be.’ Because it reveals such a depth of hope and faith that it made my heart ache a little.

    I’m not always a fan on multimedia because I it often feels contrived to me, but I really liked it in this piece and found that watching the video after reading such poignant writing heightened my experience rather than split it into two different experiences.

    Nicely done.

    • Jack March 19, 2011 at 8:14 am

      Sometimes we get lucky and we find a way to integrate the tools and resources that we have around us. This was one of those. I have a definite story line in mind so it makes it easier to write this. I like trying to keep some things open so that imagination plays a part.

  16. Erica M March 18, 2011 at 6:27 am

    Hey, nice to see you on the Red Dress list! I’m trying it for the first time this week. You put a lot of work into your posts…nice video!

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