It is no secret that I have spent more than a few minutes thinking about you, wondering what you are doing and who you are doing it with. If I listened to the experts youâ€™d never hear a word from me or about me. Iâ€™d be nothing more than a ghost in time, a memory of someone you once knew.
And if my past was any guide than that is how it would have gone down. We would have said whatever it is two people say to each other before they leave and then I would have walked out of your life and found whatever was waiting for me. That is how it had always gone before so it was more than a little shocking to me that it didnâ€™t happen now.
But who am I kidding, this thing we share has never been conventional, ordinary or normal. It has always been somethingâ€¦.more. A moment in time that never yellows with age or withers with time. I donâ€™t have to close my eyes to see my girl or stare at your picture. I donâ€™t have to smell your perfume to remember because I always sense your presence. You are always with me, the song of my heart.
The song of my heart you touch those places inside that others are refused entry to. Your smile warms my soul and makes me believe that I can do things that I might not otherwise dare to consider. There is a beauty and grace that you carry with you.
So I suppose that some people would be surprised that we are not together. Shocked that so much love and potential would remain unfulfilled. Dumbfounded that circumstances conspired to prevent us from taking that next step into the world that we still dream of building. Heck, I canâ€™t quite figure out how it is that we havenâ€™t figured out how to bridge the gap.
Faith and hope are what carry me through the night. Little glimpses of things we hold dear to ourselves and to each other serve as reminders. Memories of kisses that made my skin tingle and the ache of the hole that exists when you are not by my side. These things are with me for good or for worse.
Goofy quotes like the oneÂ from A Wonderful Life make me smile.
George Bailey: What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and Iâ€™ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. Thatâ€™s a pretty good idea. Iâ€™ll give you the moon, Mary.
Mary: Iâ€™ll take it. Then what?
George Bailey: Well, then you can swallow it, and itâ€™ll all dissolve, seeâ€¦ and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hairâ€¦ am I talking too much?
They make me smile because you make me want to try to give you the moon. They make me smile because I try to be cool and suave around you and end up babbling like a fool. Even now years later you sometimes make me stutter and stumble.
Little moments in time surround me. Memories of what was, faith and hope in what could be, they are there too. For now that is all there is and there are no guarantees that it will change. There is no Love Potion number 9 available for sale and even if there were I wouldnâ€™t purchase it. That is not how I want it to be.
For now I hope that you walk in the arms of the angel and carry my blessing and promise. If all goes as we wish then one day this will be nothing more than a small chapter in the story we continue to write. Stay safe, be strong and I will see you in the echoes of our future.
This was for the Red Dress Club. This week’s Red Writing Hood assignment is to write – fiction or non-fiction – about a time when you took a detour. Where had you intended to go and where did you end up?
Your word limit is 600.