I received an email earlier this evening that questioned my credibility. Or should I say that it chastised me for not being worried about my credibility as a writer. Being a sassy and insouciant sort of fellow I replied.Â If you are easily offended than you might not want to read my response. I’ll share a few thoughts about the topic below my reply
Thank you for your concern and your desire to warn me about the dangers of not being credible. Since you claim to be about my age you probably remember that game they used to show on the television show we all watched as kids, One of these things doesn’t belong with the other. Let’s play now. I’ll provide a list of things that I have decided not to write about. Some of them won’t be true but at least one will.
Ready? Take a deep breath and let’s begin.
Thanks to you I have decided not to write about:
- I dunked on Michael Jordan.
- I once stole Castro’s cigar.
- Your mother asked to see me naked.
Ok, which one of those wasn’t true? Not sure? No problem I am going to give you time to think about it by providing a list of three other things for your review:
- I painted the Mona Lisa.
- My real name is Dikembe Mutumbo.
- I took a picture of you fellating a goat.
Did that help or should we come up with three more items for you to review? I opt for the latter so here are three more things for you to wonder about:
- I worked as an agent in Hollywood and explained to Keanu Reeves, Kevin Costner and Matthew Perry that America is tired of them playing the same character in every movie. But I did that on behalf of the patron saint of limited acting ability, Nicholas Cage.
- I am responsible for the cuyahoga river bursting into flames.
- Your sister asked me for a three way with your mother.
Ok, that last one wasn’t true, it was your father who asked but he looks just like your sister and I am easily confused. Now before you freak out and huff your way into a terrible asthma attack allow me to explain a few things. I have never understood why some people think that the best way to affect change is by sending someone a very strongly worded email that suggests they are an idiot. Frankly I would have had more respect for you if you had just come out and called me one. For that matter you could have called me many names and I would have shrugged my shoulders and moved on, or maybe not.
You see I think that your email was linkbait. You hoped to start a flame war with me. You wanted me to link to your blog and write a post about how nasty you are. Now I could have done that but this is far more fun. Why? Because thanks to the magic of statcounter I know that you have camped out here all night long, watching and waiting for my response. So you got it but you aren’t going to get an traffic from me.
Although I am known to occasionally engage in juvenile antics I try not to be a blogger who bullies others. I don’t always succeed and I suppose that this crosses a line of sorts but I am ok with it. In fact if you hadn’t mentioned my children in your note I wouldn’t have taken the time to spit back at you but I am a little crazy about them. Talk about my kids in a way that doesn’t please me and you’ll get my attention but not the way that you want.
So little man now that I have climbed into the gutter with you make of this what you will.
Credibility is earned over time. You have to earn it. It is not bestowed upon you because you have a blog. Â There are quite a few posts here that blur the lines between fiction and nonfiction. So what. Maybe you don’t like wondering what is real and what is not- go somewhere else. There are millions of blogs that you can read, you don’t have to hang out here.
I don’t claim to be an expert on parenting but if someone asks for my advice I give it. That doesn’t mean that it has to be accepted. I don’t promote myself as being Dr. Spock or any sort of doctor at all. I am a writer who has extensive experience in a number of areas. Take that for what it is worth.
I suppose that what I am really saying is that I am big on accountability. Storms follow where I walk. At times I am a muckwracker and troublemaker. I have been known to be my own worst critic and enemy. But I clean up my own messes. I don’t wear a sweater because someone else is cold. Nor do I believe everything I read. Where and when appropriate I check facts. I am a curious fellow. I go looking for information about things I wonder about. Maybe it is about ways to improve your marriage immediately or How Much It Would Cost to Make The Death Star.
I believe that communities form around bloggers who are honest and authentic. My community is filled with smart people. They know how to Google information. They know how to research facts. They know that when I try to scam the scammers I don’t expect to be given a million dollars for my efforts.
More importantly they have figured out that courtesy goes a long way. Â They have enough common sense to communicate with myself and others in a way that allows for open dialogue. I don’t need for everyone to agree with me. I would be bored silly if they did.
Sometimes I love the internet and its ability to expose us to so many different people. They are ever so interesting.
And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.