I Want To Meet My Internet Troll

Trolls

Your old friend Jack has determined that he is in dire need of a vacation. Life, circumstances, events and incidents have conspired together to create a contraption that has sucked him dry and not in any sort of way that would make him smile. The cranky old man has figured out that he is mentally and emotionally spent. The dude can’t relax because he is too busy playing the real life version of Risk.

Want to put in different terms than let me quote Springsteen in the Streets of Philadelphia.

I was bruised and battered and I couldn’t tell
What I felt
I was unrecognizable to myself
I saw my reflection in a window I didn’t know
My own face”

To the best of my knowledge I am not physically or mentally ill. I am just at the tail end of one thing and prepping to start another. I am tired of being frustrated/angry all the time. I am tired of fighting battles each day to make things happen and do what needs to be done.  So I have decided that I might as well put all this nonsense to good use.

I want to meet my Internet troll in person. You know who you are and what you have done.  I want to have my moment with you because that is about what it will take. I’ll call down the thunder and lightning and engage in my own shock and awe campaign. You and I are going to do a little dance but we aren’t going to make a little love or get down tonight.

You’ll put on your Boogie Shoes and hope that I don’t get to create my own This is Sparta Moment.

I can provide you with a long list of flaws and shortcomings. I’ll give you the inside scoop on my weaknesses. You won’t find a better scouting report. Nor will you find anyone more tenacious, relentless or stubborn. When I make the decision to go all the way I follow through. This isn’t hyperbole, melodrama or bravado.

It is just a preview of what is to come. Ask Hannibal what happened to Carthage. Try and find Atlantis. I wish you luck.

Yep, I am on fire and am working hard to throw more wood on the fire. I want those flames to continue to burn brightly. Anger may lead to the dark side but it also feeds the flames that fuel the fire.

Maybe I should try to relax. Maybe I shouldn’t be the guy that tells the person that they brought 11 items into a ten items or less line. Maybe I shouldn’t walk around writing parking tickets for the idiots who can’t park between the lines. Maybe I shouldn’t yell at the store manager for having 27 checkout stands but only three checkers.

Life isn’t fair and it doesn’t owe me anything but I wouldn’t mind a break now and then.

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20 Comments

  1. Alan Kercinik June 3, 2011 at 11:00 am

    With our country’s crumbling infrastructure, it only makes sense that trolls now hang out on the internet. Under bridges just ain’t safe.

    Ba dum bump

  2. Alan Kercinik June 3, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    With our country’s crumbling infrastructure, it only makes sense that trolls now hang out on the internet. Under bridges just ain’t safe.

    Ba dum bump

  3. Leon Noone June 3, 2011 at 10:37 am

    G’Day Jack,
    That bloody Gini D has a lot to answer for. She gets away with a post about nothing and now everyone’s trying it.

    Troll, schmoll: I’m looking for a wabbit…. as Elmer Fudd used to say.

    Regards

    Leon

    • The JackB June 3, 2011 at 10:52 am

      @3884c43f625610ab1bb99b677867ea2a:disqus Nah, she is not the first to write about nothing. She is just more successful at publicizing it than most of us. 😉 Let me know if you find that wabbit. I am hungry. 😉

  4. Leon Noone June 3, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    G’Day Jack,
    That bloody Gini D has a lot to answer for. She gets away with a post about nothing and now everyone’s trying it.

    Troll, schmoll: I’m looking for a wabbit…. as Elmer Fudd used to say.

    Regards

    Leon

    • The JackB June 3, 2011 at 6:52 pm

      @3884c43f625610ab1bb99b677867ea2a:disqus Nah, she is not the first to write about nothing. She is just more successful at publicizing it than most of us. 😉 Let me know if you find that wabbit. I am hungry. 😉

  5. John Falchetto June 3, 2011 at 12:51 am

    Do you really want to meet all of them?

    • The JackB June 3, 2011 at 6:42 am

      @johnfalchetto:disqus Hey John. I don’t think that I have all that many trolls. Over the years I have had a bunch, but probably no more than about a dozen.

      So I figure that if I did meet them I could probably handle them. I have spent years training with Inigo Montoya and the man in the black. That should be enough. 😉

  6. John Falchetto June 3, 2011 at 8:51 am

    Do you really want to meet all of them?

    • The JackB June 3, 2011 at 2:42 pm

      @johnfalchetto:disqus Hey John. I don’t think that I have all that many trolls. Over the years I have had a bunch, but probably no more than about a dozen.

      So I figure that if I did meet them I could probably handle them. I have spent years training with Inigo Montoya and the man in the black. That should be enough. 😉

  7. Brandon P Duncan June 2, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    Damn, good job, Gini! I don’t know what you did, but…

    Jack, I feel for you, brother. Just make sure you be the bigger man in all of this.

    (Oh, and rub your earlobes and whisper “woooosaaaaa” a couple times. It helps, lol!)

  8. Brandon Duncan June 2, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    Damn, good job, Gini! I don’t know what you did, but…

    Jack, I feel for you, brother. Just make sure you be the bigger man in all of this.

    (Oh, and rub your earlobes and whisper “woooosaaaaa” a couple times. It helps, lol!)

  9. Gini Dietrich June 2, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    OK. OK. Fine. We can meet.

  10. Gini Dietrich June 2, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    OK. OK. Fine. We can meet.

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