TheJackB’s Father’s Day Gift Guide

“I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts. I don’t know anything that mars good literature so completely as too much truth. Facts contain a great deal of poetry, but you can’t use too many of them without damaging your literature. I love all literature, and as long as I am a doctor of literature–I have suggested to you for twenty years I have been diligently trying to improve my own literature, and now, by virtue of the University of Oxford, I mean to doctor everybody else’s.” Mark Twain- Speech to the Savage Club, London, 7/6/1907

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” Mark Twain

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you ever noticed that sometimes the post that you write doesn’t match the headline that you have written. It happens to me all the time. I suppose that you can attribute to composing at the keyboard. I don’t work with outlines. I simply write the tale that is being told inside my head. Ignore all that and keep reading. The good stuff is below.

Father’s Day is coming soon and I have a list of things that I want. Some of them might be more difficult to obtain but it doesn’t mean that I can’t dream, scheme or work to obtain them. So my friends here are some of the things that I would like.

1) A personal chef and trainer. Been looking at this 42 year-old body and it is showing signs of the mileage. Since I can’t trade it in I figure that it is time for a tune up. Note that I expect that along with the chef and trainer will be time to take advantage of their services. I figure that one way to do that is to have the studios use me as the star in some action film. I haven’t ever wanted to be an actor but damn if Keanu Reeves can do it so can I .

So Hollywood make me an offer, pay for the trainer/chef and then pay me to get back into the kind of shape that my body wants to be in.

2) A Paid Vacation– I haven’t had a paid vacation in years. I am ready to take time off where I don’t spend any time on the trip working, thinking about work or wondering if I should be thinking about work.

3) A Book Deal– It is on my bucket list, writing a book that is. I am ready to be paid to write the great American novel or maybe just the good one. Hell, pay me and I’ll write the average one. Relax, it won’t be average. You publishers don’t need to be nervous because the 17 long time readers of the blog, my family and five friends will buy copies of it. And 25 years after I die it will become required reading in school and students will come to hate my name as they will associate it with homework.

4) A New Car– I have a 2000 Honda CRV with 110,000+ miles on it. I’d like a convertible but I would settle for a new sedan that has some power under the hood.

5) A trip to Israel– Some of you might ask why this isn’t listed under paid vacation and to that I would answer because. Because I promise the kids that I would take them to see our family and friends. Because it will be an amazing trip but it is not going to be the relaxing trip that the paid vacation is. This will be great fun. I haven’t been back in far too long so I am ready and as mentioned the kids have never been.

6) An iPad2– Never thought that I would say it, but I am jonesing for one of those suckers and I don’t have the cash to buy it now. But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t list it.

7) A Flatscreen TV– Don’t own one. Got an old 26″ Panasonic that works well and has been reliable, but I am ready to upgrade.

8) Peace of Mind– Had it, lost it and am looking hard for it. I expect that I will recover it sooner or later but don’t expect my sanity to come along with it. I lost that at birth I expect that we’ll be saying that I am still crazy all these years later forever. It is ok, I am good with it.

There is more to say and more to write but no time to do so. So for now I shall bid you adieu. Until we meet again….be good.

 

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Comments

  1. The book deal sounds awesome!  I would love to be successful with a book I have written.  I have one I am working on and one that I will work on as soon as I get back stateside.  The second of the two is the one I feel is most promising.

  2. The book deal sounds awesome!  I would love to be successful with a book I have written.  I have one I am working on and one that I will work on as soon as I get back stateside.  The second of the two is the one I feel is most promising.

  3. G’Day Jack,
    What a pity you’re not my father. Were that the case, I’d be delighted to present you with any of those gifts.

    However, as I’m old enough to be your father, I’d be equally delighted to accept anything from the list that you choose to offer.

    Down here in Oz, Fathers’ Day occurs in September. Gives you time to save up.

    Think what such a gift would do for US/Australian relationships. To paraphrase JFK, think not what your readers can do for you, but what you can do for your readers–especially we Aussies.

    Avagoodweegend!

    best Wishes 

    Leon

    • @3884c43f625610ab1bb99b677867ea2a:disqus You know I think that we are on to something. If I was your father I would be happy to receive those gifts from you. But as you said you are in a position to be my dad so I have an idea.

      “Dad, could you give me some money so that I can buy you some really nice Father’s Day gifts. I’ll even get one for me so we can share it.”

      😉

  4. G’Day Jack,
    What a pity you’re not my father. Were that the case, I’d be delighted to present you with any of those gifts.

    However, as I’m old enough to be your father, I’d be equally delighted to accept anything from the list that you choose to offer.

    Down here in Oz, Fathers’ Day occurs in September. Gives you time to save up.

    Think what such a gift would do for US/Australian relationships. To paraphrase JFK, think not what your readers can do for you, but what you can do for your readers–especially we Aussies.

    Avagoodweegend!

    best Wishes 

    Leon

    • @3884c43f625610ab1bb99b677867ea2a:disqus You know I think that we are on to something. If I was your father I would be happy to receive those gifts from you. But as you said you are in a position to be my dad so I have an idea.

      “Dad, could you give me some money so that I can buy you some really nice Father’s Day gifts. I’ll even get one for me so we can share it.”

      😉

  5. Ok, this is an awesome list. Should definitely let people know what you really want! Maybe the friends won’t give it but nothing goes in giving it a try!

  6. Ok, this is an awesome list. Should definitely let people know what you really want! Maybe the friends won’t give it but nothing goes in giving it a try!

  7. Hey Jack,

    Love the list! Learned a few new things about you. Actually all kinds of new things about you. A trip to Israel would be cool. Heck, everything you listed would get a GRAND Father’s Day Gift.

    And I get the humor behind “if Keanu Reeves can do it so can I”. But just think, no matter what – nobody can post you up in the paint!

    • @hustlersnotebook:disqus Hi JK, good to see you again. I can’t wait to get back to Israel. I have a lot of family and friends there. Haven’t been back in about a decade or so. It is right up there on the list.

      But you are right, don’t try to post me up in the paint. Although the rules of the blog dictate that I admit that I got posted up last week. He was 6’4 so I don’t feel too badly. 😉

      Hope you are having a great week!

  8. Hey Jack,

    Love the list! Learned a few new things about you. Actually all kinds of new things about you. A trip to Israel would be cool. Heck, everything you listed would get a GRAND Father’s Day Gift.

    And I get the humor behind “if Keanu Reeves can do it so can I”. But just think, no matter what – nobody can post you up in the paint!

    • @hustlersnotebook:disqus Hi JK, good to see you again. I can’t wait to get back to Israel. I have a lot of family and friends there. Haven’t been back in about a decade or so. It is right up there on the list.

      But you are right, don’t try to post me up in the paint. Although the rules of the blog dictate that I admit that I got posted up last week. He was 6’4 so I don’t feel too badly. 😉

      Hope you are having a great week!

  9. Sweet, that’s almost my identical list and the way I figure it when I become rich and famous in here (I’m thinking 90 days tops) I can probably work my way at least 1/2 thru that. I’m just wondering what I will be doing with all this free time; I think you can only play so much golf and your yard can only look so good, huh?

    In my world of sales we jokingly say “we may doze, but we never close”. As a writer I can see where you are always ‘on’ thinking of the next article or project. Even as little as I am in I find myself thinking about it all the time and unfortunately only about 5% makes it to printed word. Oh well…………

    Good luck on your quest and Happy Father’s Day to ya….

    • @a76049f6a32a1e633a732b81bafb98c9:disqus Hi Bill, good to see you. I know your world of sales. I didn’t sell insurance, but I sold advertising space, sold copiers, sold construction equipment, PR/Marketing plans and more.

      I was good at it, but it doesn’t fulfill me the way that writing does. 

      Your comment reminds me Mark Cuban. If memory serves he built a successful company and sold it for several million. Then he took off for a year or two to whatever he wanted.

      He got bored, built another company sold that and became a billionaire or so that is how I remember it.

      All I know is that it would be good for my friends if I became ridiculously wealthy. They’d get new jobs to hang out with me. But I probably would still find some sort of work- or at least something to keep the mind active.

      Can’t imagine just sitting around doing nothing.

  10. Sweet, that’s almost my identical list and the way I figure it when I become rich and famous in here (I’m thinking 90 days tops) I can probably work my way at least 1/2 thru that. I’m just wondering what I will be doing with all this free time; I think you can only play so much golf and your yard can only look so good, huh?

    In my world of sales we jokingly say “we may doze, but we never close”. As a writer I can see where you are always ‘on’ thinking of the next article or project. Even as little as I am in I find myself thinking about it all the time and unfortunately only about 5% makes it to printed word. Oh well…………

    Good luck on your quest and Happy Father’s Day to ya….

    • @a76049f6a32a1e633a732b81bafb98c9:disqus Hi Bill, good to see you. I know your world of sales. I didn’t sell insurance, but I sold advertising space, sold copiers, sold construction equipment, PR/Marketing plans and more.

      I was good at it, but it doesn’t fulfill me the way that writing does. 

      Your comment reminds me Mark Cuban. If memory serves he built a successful company and sold it for several million. Then he took off for a year or two to whatever he wanted.

      He got bored, built another company sold that and became a billionaire or so that is how I remember it.

      All I know is that it would be good for my friends if I became ridiculously wealthy. They’d get new jobs to hang out with me. But I probably would still find some sort of work- or at least something to keep the mind active.

      Can’t imagine just sitting around doing nothing.

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