Angry music fills my ears and I feel my lips pull back into a snarl. I am in that place I hit when I go beyond anger. It is my own private refuge that I keep solely for me. Fury and fire have filled my soul and I have spent countless hours trying to release it. I put my trust in people and things that didn’t come through and now I pay the price.
Devastation and destruction fill my vision and I am surrounded with the sounds of sorrow. There is no silence and no succor to be found. Relief is something that I seek yet no matter where I go or what I try the pressure remains unrelenting and unremitting. I imagine that I am slowly sinking below the waves and experiencing the crushing power of the ocean depths.
Pounding. There is pounding and I wonder from where it comes.Â I have been lost at sea for so long I have no sense of what is real and what is not. Time is a foreign concept. I wonder how it is that I still feel the flames for I sunk under the waves long ago. I gave myself to the depths and surrendered my soul to whence it came.
Sustenance is something sought for but not obtained nor acquired. What I seek has been lost and now I wander where I will without direction. What was once found has been lost and until I find it within myself again I shall remain lost.