The Words You Read
Sometimes I like to go back into the archives and revisit old posts to see if I still feel the same way. I have been thinking about this particular one because it ties into boundaries. When I wrote this 7 years ago I had complete anonymity and the kids were very young.
Now my anonymity isn’t complete and the kids have grown old enough for me to be more careful about which stories I share. I don’t have complete “ownership” of all of these tales so I think about whether it is fair to include them. I think about what lines I cross and what I won’t. I suspect that over time those things will continue evolve.
Anyhoo, the old post is in blockquotes below.
I write about anything and everything. That includes absolutely everything about my life and the people in it. On some topics I am cautious about how much I say, if it is warranted.
Items that warrant my care are posts that are about people who are easily identified and who might be hurt by what I share. Please note that this is subjective. I recognize that I have a fairly thick skin and that what I find to be hurtful and offensive may not be the same as someone else.
But it is my blog and my rules, so live with it. I’ll do my best not to intentionally offend or hurt most people. That is right, most people. Those that fall outside of my ambiguous definition may find themselves to be targets and who knows what can happen. If you are worried about this I suggest that you stop reading this blog and then there will only be 17 readers a month who might know your secrets.
On a side note I was thinking about how many people I know that are divorced and it occurred to me that I could post about it as well. And I am sure that to far too many of you it might appear that my post is about your experience. Unless there are specific details you can assume that it is likely not about you and even if there are it may be an amalgamation of stories.
If you know me personally you know that I enjoy embellishing my tales.
What I find so sad about the comments about divorce is how prevalent it has become. It just makes me wonder about relationships. Have we lost something that other generations had, or have we found a freedom and truths that other generations did not have.
Out of the many people that I know that are divorced I cannot think of any that I thought of or think of now as having been thoughtless about marriage. Each and every one of them appeared to enter their initial marriage with a lot of thought and good intentions. But good intentions are often not enough.
One friend of mine said that he thinks it takes the first marriage to teach you how to be married. I don’t totally buy that argument, but I can see some of what he is saying. There are some experiences that require actual exposure for understanding.
Livefyre August 9, 2011 at 3:59 pm
@BetsyKCross Relationships are tough.I don’t think that a lot of people realize how hard they can be. And right now with an economy that is in shambles and so much negativity floating around it can be even harder.
I don’t have an answer other than I don’t think that all relationships are meant to last. Some just don’t have it and others do.
Livefyre August 9, 2011 at 2:00 am
Jack,
This is interesting. Having been married for 25 years I can say we’ve seen a lot of ups and downs. I asked my husband on Sunday on our ride to church, “Do you really think you’d like to spend forever with me?” He laughed, but taken aback. I explained that I don’t think bickering is what I want to do forever. He drove quietly, a little sad. But as we talked we realized that we are very stressed and have been for a few years. When you’re stressed for that long it’s hard to remember what NOT being stressed feels like and it gets easier to blame each other. We laughed and concluded it was all the kids’ fault (I’m joking!) and drove on.