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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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There Are Boundaries In Blogging

October 7, 2011 by Jack Steiner

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I miss the big lug that you see in  the picture. Four years have gone by since we had to say goodbye but I carry him with me in my heart always.

He proved that a dog really is man’s best friend. I never worried about him betraying my trust or breaking my confidence. Secrets told were secrets kept.

Were he still here I would gladly share the sights and sounds that I continue to carry in my soul and my heart would be lighter for it. But he is not so I am intentionally more careful and circumspect.

For there are tales that are not to be told and stories that are not to be shared with all who visit me here. Sometimes it is easy to see the line that divides mine to tell and mine to keep but not always. Sometimes the lines are blurred and the truth that lies within is not so easily discerned.

It is something that I have wrestled with for years- the boundaries of blogging. I have written about it many times because I want to come up with a clear policy for myself. I write about it because when you involve people you just don’t know what you are going to get. All it takes is a simple contest and all sorts of stuff can go on.

All I have to do is look back upon a few posts like Dad Blogger Link Bait- The List You Wish You Were On or When Bloggers Bully and I remember telephone calls, emails and tweets about issues that really shouldn’t have been issues. We all agree that there is no need for drama yet we see it in all aspects of life.

Sometimes I would pop open a beer and sit outside with the big lug and tell him about what was going on. He’d stare at me with those big soulful eyes and that enormous head and I’d tell him that I wanted to trade places for a short time. He could be me and I could be him. But he never did agree to that and I suspect it is because he knew too much about what we are like.

Or more likely he’d look at me and think that there is no reason to give up the greatest life you could imagine. Everyone who saw him wanted to hug or pet him, especially women. Talk about a magnet, he was the ultimate wing man.

But like I said, what I miss most is just being able to talk to him without restriction. And that also happens to be what I miss about blogging- the freedom to write without thought or regard for content.

The Tales We Tell

I suppose that I misspoke when I said that I need to come up with a policy because I have one in hand. The real question is whether I need to reframe or rework it. The policy as it stands now is not to write about anything that I can’t talk about in public…openly.  It is really very simple.

Everything we do online leaves digital crumbs all over the place. But even if I weren’t semi-anonymous I would still be careful. There are things that family and friends wish to protect so I need to honor their wishes. There are tales that could be told that belong to my children- some of those remain unsaid because I am not certain that they won’t be upset by them.

And some stories remain cloaked in shadow and silence because it is not my place to destroy dignity without consideration or thought.

So what do you think about this? Where do you draw the lines on sharing?

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