Updated on Nov 5:Â Go read this post by Kim Prince.
My heart is heavy tonight. We lost another friend today. I don’t know all the details and in the interest of privacy I won’t share much about it now. I might do so later but I might not. This falls into the boundaries of blogging question and whose story it is to tell.
But what I can tell you is that someone who made a difference in the world is gone, their light has been extinguished and the world is a bit darker than it once was.
Two shots of Jack Daniels and I am back here at the computer typing out my thoughts and trying to make sense of some things. I sometimes think that this blog has far too many stories about death, especially about those who died too soon. I suspect that I know more people who have died young than most do but I don’t know why that is.
If I were to provide you with a laundry list I could list 5 who died while were in high school, another 6 in college and about 7 more afterwards. That is 18 people. It is an approximate number but I am going to run with it for a variety of reasons, the primary being that 18 is an important number.
It is tied into Gematria, which is sort of a mystical way to assign numerical values to letters. In Hebrew the word for life is Chai and it just so happens that it has a numerical value of 18. I didn’t consciously try to come up with the numbers I used so it was just coincidence that I came up with 18. Maybe that is the first message from the universe, I don’t know.
So maybe it is not a coincidence that earlier today I stumbled across an old post in which I cited Death Be Not Proud. I stared at it for a few minutes and thought about D and wondered if he is still watching over Mookie.
It is another reminder that the time to act is now. It is another reminder to make sure that the changes and promises I made to myself are fulfilled. But we can talk about that later. I want to go back to talking about Chai, about life. Because when I think about it even though there are lots of stories about death here there are lots about life.
Every time I don my dad blogger hat and write about the children there is another story about life. Every time those children and I sit I see this bright light in their eyes and I feel energy radiating from them.
Tomorrow we’ll talk again these kids o’mine and I’ll remind them about the need to live our dreams and not dream our lives. I’ll reiterate the need to pay attention to people so that we can help regardless of whether they scream Help Me.
It doesn’t take away the sadness or sense of loss but it helps a little bit and sometimes it is the little things in life that are most important.