And The Light Was Extinguished

Updated on Nov 5:  Go read this post by Kim Prince.

My heart is heavy tonight. We lost another friend today. I don’t know all the details and in the interest of privacy I won’t share much about it now. I might do so later but I might not. This falls into the boundaries of blogging question and whose story it is to tell.

But what I can tell you is that someone who made a difference in the world is gone, their light has been extinguished and the world is a bit darker than it once was.


Two shots of Jack Daniels and I am back here at the computer typing out my thoughts and trying to make sense of some things. I sometimes think that this blog has far too many stories about death, especially about those who died too soon. I suspect that I know more people who have died young than most do but I don’t know why that is.

If I were to provide you with a laundry list I could list 5 who died while were in high school, another 6 in college and about 7 more afterwards. That is 18 people. It is an approximate number but I am going to run with it for a variety of reasons, the primary being that 18 is an important number.

It is tied into Gematria, which is sort of a mystical way to assign numerical values to letters. In Hebrew the word for life is Chai and it just so happens that it has a numerical value of 18. I didn’t consciously try to come up with the numbers I used so it was just coincidence that I came up with 18. Maybe that is the first message from the universe, I don’t know.

So maybe it is not a coincidence that earlier today I stumbled across an old post in which I cited Death Be Not Proud. I stared at it for a few minutes and thought about D and wondered if he is still watching over Mookie.

Reality Check

It is another reminder that the time to act is now. It is another reminder to make sure that the changes and promises I made to myself are fulfilled. But we can talk about that later. I want to go back to talking about Chai, about life. Because when I think about it even though there are lots of stories about death here there are lots about life.

Every time I don my dad blogger hat and write about the children there is another story about life. Every time those children and I sit I see this bright light in their eyes and I feel energy radiating from them.

Tomorrow we’ll talk again these kids o’mine and I’ll remind them about the need to live our dreams and not dream our lives. I’ll reiterate the need to pay attention to people so that we can help regardless of whether they scream Help Me.

It doesn’t take away the sadness or sense of loss but it helps a little bit and sometimes it is the little things in life that are most important.

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  1. Bill Dorman November 5, 2011 at 4:44 am

    The circle of life; and one given is life will go on whether we are ready or not.

    And as Andy Dufresne said: Get busy living, or get busy dying.

    Life is way to short; enjoy the journey.

  2. Harleena Singh November 5, 2011 at 4:27 am

    Sorry to hear about your loss Jack!

    Death is something no one can do anything about and when it comes- it just comes. I lost my mother a few years back and that is one loss I still haven’t been able to forget. Though life does carry on, the hollowness within remains, espeically if you have lost a dear one.

    In your case too, there have been many sad moments and down times. But yes, as you rightly put it across- when kids are around we learn to live for them and similarly set an example that life carries on and is never ending.

    I guess we need to take each day as it comes, and live it to the fullest- with no regrets whatsoever.

    Thanks for sharing 🙂

  3. Bruce Sallan ( November 4, 2011 at 10:54 am

    Wow, what a lousy run you’ve been living…so sorry. Such a waste when good people’s lives are cut short. In our community, three young men died in the past week – two by their own hands and one by a preventable drug overdose…

    It’s a lot to bear…

    • Jack November 4, 2011 at 2:59 pm

      It is a lot to bear but not one promised that life would be easy. It is a rough road we hoe sometimes, but there aren’t many choices.

      I am ok with that and my friend if she were still here would say the same.

  4. Lori Gosselin November 4, 2011 at 10:42 am

    There is a lot of talk of death today Jack. (and already too much of it in your life). Today Betsy was talking about it and Nancy D and it entered the conversation at LFI! What’s up with that?

  5. Adrienne November 4, 2011 at 10:09 am

    Hey Jack,

    I’m sorry for your loss. I understand what you’re saying and unfortunately, I think you and I are fairly close in numbers of knowing too many people who lost their lives way before their time. Earlier this year it was my own cousin. Oh and did I mention, we were the same age!

    The only way I can look at death is to know they lived a good life while they were here and to be that reminder that nothing is promised. Live your life to the fullest by honoring those who didn’t get that chance. I honestly believe they wouldn’t want it any other way.

    Hang in there!

    • Jack November 4, 2011 at 2:54 pm


      I am in agreement with you. We don’t know when the end will come only that it will so we have to live now.

      There are a lot of benefits and value to living like that or so I think.

  6. Janet Callaway November 4, 2011 at 9:36 am

    Jack, aloha. When I saw the title in the stream, I thought “oh no, now what?”

    Jack, you are having such a time of it, however, that is often the way it is with change. You have to hit bottom before you come back more vibrant than ever.

    It sounds like the universe is giving you ample opportunities to help you determine what’s important to you and how you want your life to be.

    If your children knew the person who passed away, maybe you could do something together to celebrate life–both yours and the person who passed away. Focus on the good knowing that person brought to your life rather than how much you will miss them.

    Jack, it will get better and you will have the glorious life you want for your children. Until later, my friend. Aloha. Janet

    • Jack November 4, 2011 at 2:17 pm

      Hi Janet,

      I have hit some bumps in the road and some challenges but I’ll get through them because I always do. It is part of the Taurus nature- we just bulldoze obstacles.

      But I would be lying if I said that this particular person’s death didn’t shock me. You don’t expect people in their early forties to die.

      All that being said I am still here and my family and I have time to continue working on the things that are important.

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