You can’t see me in this photo but I am lying flat on my back, the victim of a stray coconut. Can’t say who threw it at me, just that it happened.
Out of respect to new readers I need to let you know that you won’t find me in that photo. Hell you’d be hard pressed to find a shot of me anywhere in this joint. I tend to be the shy and retiring sort of fellow who prefers to operate from behind a mask. That is because I have secret fantasies of becoming a really cool superhero.
However before I do that I need to get my butt into better shape because that superhero spandex is pretty damn unforgiving. There is nothing more embarrassing than being the chunky guy in the spandex and though I can combat that by stuffing a salami into my pants I prefer not to.
And that my friends is why in just a few moments I am going to hit the treadmill. Not to mention that I am exhausted from lack of sleep and wrestling with the renovations that are going on around here. I am a writer, not a designer. I can see what I want to do. I can write about it and describe it but I can’t translate that vision into action with the same precision.
If I didn’t have my own set of rug rats enrolled in private school I would gladly pay someone to do this for me, but I can’t swing it now. And since I can’t swing it you get to enjoy watching me swing the sledge hammer. Funny thing is that in person I am relatively handy so it is not like I can’t do anything with my hands.
Next time someone takes a picture of me from behind I’ll flex and show you the mighty muscles I have developed over years of massive amounts of exercise. Woohoo. Can’t you feel the burn. Aren’t you jealous.
Don’t be because you are a better you than you are me. Really, you couldn’t be me if you tried and you wouldn’t want to be. I am a storm walker and you really don’t want to be.
I am also feeling a bit crazed, confused and frustrated. Blame that on a million different things, but not fifth grade math because last night I made it my bitch. Really, those fractions cried and begged for mercy.
Anyhoo, I am clearly a bit slappy but I like to think that makes me a better father and certainly a better dad blogger. Part of the way that we learn how to do things is by doing. Let me repeat, learn by doing and not by watching.
OTOH, (which stands for on the other hand) there is something to be said for reading the manual before you jump in. Unless you are like me and confident in your ability to learn how to fly, build a parachute or develop the ability to levitate before hitting the ground.
Actually if you are me you are built out of concrete so when you hit the ground both of you crack. Just remember that when you get to be my age you start to notice that the nick, scrape and bruises don’t disappear as quickly as they used to. It is kind of frustrating because I don’t feel like I am forty something. Ask my kids how old I am and they’ll tell you that dad still runs with the children.
It is true. Some people run the bulls but I scoff at them. Damn bulls aren’t nearly as crazy or as nasty as an overtired child. I should know, I am a Taurus and we know all about being a bull.
Brothers and sisters, social media is about people. It is about developing relationships with people. It is about walking out among the people because you are one of them, no better and no worse. Ok, I am lying, I am better than some of you. Certainly more obnoxious, but that is me.
Really, this blog is a decent representation of me. If you read it cover to cover you will learn things that some of the people in my life don’t know and might not ever. Some of that is because they don’t ask and they don’t listen. And some of it is because I don’t volunteer.
This blog is like me and you- a work in progress. It is filled with changes and is constantly evolving. If it works the way I want we’ll see growth here and within or so I hope.
If you are reading this and not part of the community here I want to stick out my hand and invite you to join. In the near future we are going to revisit the About Me page and I’ll share again with you what I am trying to do and what I am about.
But for now let’s do this. I am Jack. I am a writer and a father. I am a dad blogger, but I write about more than just blogging. My goal is to become a published author and to play center field for the Dodgers. Somewhere in between I expect to be the shortest power forward to ever play for the Lakers.
Welcome to the blog. Hope you decide to subscribe, fan my page and hang out with us. Say hi in the comments. Got to run for now as work beckons.
P.S. Here are the last five songs to shuffle through my iPod.
- I Was Wrong– Social Distortion
- I am on Fire– Bruce Springsteen
- Sympathy For the Devil– The Rolling Stones (still one of my favorite versions)
- The Prisoner– Iron Maiden
- Sunday Morning Coming Down-Â Kris Kristofferson