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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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What Kind of Connections Are We Building?

April 4, 2012 by Jack Steiner

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Want to know what makes me really crazy in blogging? When I come up with a great idea and then fail to execute it with the precision I want. The sentence and links just below this ‘graph are a good example of that.

The best opening to a post is funny/serious/whimsical/clever and or mysterious. Hell I know from experience that every one of those things is true. All I have to do is flip through the old posts here and I see examples of these things.

  1. This Was Our Song
  2. Thank You Paul Simon
  3. The Universe Taps You On The Shoulder…Again
  4. Truth Or Dare
  5. Be A Better Parent Through Blogging
  6. Fragments of Fiction
  7. 273 Blogging Tips I Never Shared & Still Won’t
  8. I Can Teach You How To Write More Interesting Posts

But what I love about blogging is that I can take my mistake and write about it. I can show you something that I think stinks and ask you to read and relate to it. I can take these words you read and talk with you, not at you about the kind of connections we are building.

Because those connections are a big part of what I am doing and what I want to do with my blogging career. When I first started blogging I wasn’t very good about trying to build connections.

I didn’t really understand that social media was about people. I was too busy writing and wearing my mask as an anonymous blogger who just wrote about life, religion, politics and whatever else seemed to fit.

But something changed in me and for me. It sounds silly, but I saw the light. I woke up and realized that I had a dream that blogging could help me convert from fantasy into reality.

So I started to think about how to build and cultivate relationships with other people online. I started to think about the kind of connections I wanted and what I was trying to build.

No one wants to feel like they are being used. People remember how you make them feel and if you make them feel valued and worthwhile they are happy to help. Make them feel badly and you reap what you sow.

My Path Might Not Work For You

The method I use isn’t something that you can find in a guide to blogging or how to become a social media superstar. You can’t read my ebook and get all of my secrets because that is not necessarily going to work for you. The reason I say that is because what I have tried to do is give you me.

What I have tried to do is just be myself and show you that I am like a lot of you. I am a father. I am a friend. I am someone who laughs, cries, screams and does everything and anything that other people do.

I don’t expect you all to like me nor do I need you all to. You can’t be all things to all people- it just doesn’t work. Certainly it doesn’t work for me. I am very aware of who I am and I know that I generate strong responses in people.

I wouldn’t expect you to like or love everything I write. Some of it isn’t great and some of it is. That is ok too. We do the best we can with what we have and go from there.

It all brings me back to the question of what kind of connections are we building? Are we creating a place where we feel safe to share personal things and stuff that others might not know. Well, I think we are. I write like we are.

I sit here at well past midnight worried about my little sister.  She is in the hospital now and they are not sure exactly what is going on with her. Because there are boundaries in blogging and we don’t all have the kind of relationship that lets me be forthcoming I won’t say much more than that.

I’ll tell you that it is not drug related nor is it related to any sort of emotional breakdown. Nah, this is something different and the docs haven’t quite figured it out yet. I’ll tell you that little sister is tough, much tougher than I am. I look at her sometimes and am amazed by her strength, but this sucks. She doesn’t deserve to have any more challenges.

Maybe that is not the sort of connection we are building. Maybe we are creating some sort of business relationship. Maybe we are forging the foundation for a partnership in which I help you secure business you couldn’t otherwise get. Maybe I am your new  writer or social media expert. Or maybe we are just people who help each other network.

But what I really hope we are building is the kind of relationship where we help others. That would make me very happy.

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