Mind you, that is an incomplete list and I can guarantee that I have unintentionally offended some people by not including them in a link or list. I am sorry for that. I know that it hurts not to be included and to feel like you have been looked over.
I know because I have felt it, feel it and have written about it. People have egos and sometimes they are bruised. Sometimes they are humbled. I know because life has humbled me…repeatedly. I know, I am not supposed to complain. I am not supposed to be angry, upset, frustrated or anything but happy because it could be worse. And I know that some of you want to know if I still know how to write funny posts.
I Am Funnier Than You Are
The answer is yes, I still write funny posts. I am still funnier than you are and Richard Dawson is still dead. Ok, that last line was a secret message that only one person will understand.
You are not really supposed to do that in blog posts, write secret messages to other people. That confuses the readers or so I once heard. I figure most of you are smart enough to move on and not worry about who I am exchanging secret messages with.
Somewhere there is a reader who is angry now because I said I am funnier than they are and I haven’t told any jokes yet. I also know that they aren’t Canadian because everyone knows that they are too nice to get angry, or maybe I should say they are too polite to tell me they are angry.
Good people those Canadians, they never stop smiling, even when I make fun of their currency and call it Monopoly money. Nor do they get upset when I ask them what it is like to have pet Polar bears.
See that linkÂ up above? It is for my Facebook fan page. If you aren’t a fan you should be. One day there might be prizes. The Oatmeal says that I shouldn’t beg you to like my page.
But what does he know. Dude is named after a cereal and he has a million more fans than I do. The Bloggess has a scary monkey named Copernicus and a book. She has a freaking book. Speaking of scary and books, Scary Mommy has a book.
I don’t have a book…yet.
I am working on it.
Really, you can see some of it here.
Some people love my story and some hate it. I am not worried about those that dislike it. It would be great if they did, but Â I can’t help them not having taste. Or maybe I can’t help their having taste, hell I can’t figure it out.
You see I feel better because even though aspects of life suck right now I am on top of changing things. I am working on a story about a boy who lives under a staircase and has magical powers he calls the force.
He has no family and very few friends and is required to fight a bunch of other kids to the death. In between fighting the kids he has to destroy a magic ring, fight off vampires, werewolves and a bunch of zombies from Band camp.
Along the way he’ll be befriended by a scarecrow, lion and some exceptionally intelligent flying monkeys. I might have them all sing and dance. I just need a catchy song and dance act. Maybe they’ll do the Time Warp.
On a semi related note, I found a video of a flash mob doing The Time Warp. I don’t know about you but I am getting tired of these flash mobs. All I want to do is get in and get out of the mall with no fan fare and I would if it wasn’t for these fercockteh flash mob dancers.
Yeah, I am the rude guy who told the fat, uncoordinated man that Lady Gaga and him don’t mix well. Or maybe I was the guy who told those dumb kids that I hate The Sound of Music. I am going to remake the movie and in my version the Germans win.
Stop taking this blogging thing so seriously and just write. Tell us a story with a beginning, middle and an end. Tell us about your dreams and how you are going to make them come true. Here is an example:
I am Jack and I want to become a full time novelist. If things go the way I want I am going to become quite wealthy. I’ll own a private jet, have a yacht and build a secluded island paradise or maybe not.
What about you? What are your dreams?
This is part of Just WriteÂ .