The Best Bloggers Are Storytellers Part 2

The best bloggers are storytellers. I wrote that last summer and I still believe it to be true. It is part of why I visit bloggers over and over and over again.

Mind you, that is an incomplete list and I can guarantee that I have unintentionally offended some people by not including them in a link or list. I am sorry for that. I know that it hurts not to be included and to feel like you have been looked over.


I know because I have felt it, feel it and have written about it. People have egos and sometimes they are bruised. Sometimes they are humbled. I know because life has humbled me…repeatedly. I know, I am not supposed to complain. I am not supposed to be angry, upset, frustrated or anything but happy because it could be worse. And I know that some of you want to know if I still know how to write funny posts.

I Am Funnier Than You Are

The answer is yes, I still write funny posts. I am still funnier than you are and Richard Dawson is still dead. Ok, that last line was a secret message that only one person will understand.

You are not really supposed to do that in blog posts, write secret messages to other people. That confuses the readers or so I once heard. I figure most of you are smart enough to move on and not worry about who I am exchanging secret messages with.

Somewhere there is a reader who is angry now because I said I am funnier than they are and I haven’t told any jokes yet. I also know that they aren’t Canadian because everyone knows that they are too nice to get angry, or maybe I should say they are too polite to tell me they are angry.

Good people those Canadians, they never stop smiling, even when I make fun of their currency and call it Monopoly money. Nor do they get upset when I ask them what it is like to have pet Polar bears.


See that link up above? It is for my Facebook fan page. If you aren’t a fan you should be. One day there might be prizes. The Oatmeal says that I shouldn’t beg you to like my page.

But what does he know. Dude is named after a cereal and he has a million more fans than I do. The Bloggess has a scary monkey named Copernicus and a book. She has a freaking book. Speaking of scary and books, Scary Mommy has a book.

I don’t have a book…yet.

I am working on it.

Really, you can see some of it here.


Some people love my story and some hate it. I am not worried about those that dislike it. It would be great if they did, but  I can’t help them not having taste. Or maybe I can’t help their having taste, hell I can’t figure it out.

The good news is that my friend Sandi has that covered for us. When you get frustrated you need to come here. Feel better? I know I do.

You see I feel better because even though aspects of life suck right now I am on top of changing things. I am working on a story about a boy who lives under a staircase and has magical powers he calls the force.

He has no family and very few friends and is required to fight a bunch of other kids to the death. In between fighting the kids he has to destroy a magic ring, fight off vampires, werewolves and a bunch of zombies from Band camp.

Along the way he’ll be befriended by a scarecrow, lion and some exceptionally intelligent flying monkeys. I might have them all sing and dance. I just need a catchy song and dance act. Maybe they’ll do the Time Warp.

On a semi related note, I found a video of a flash mob doing The Time Warp. I don’t know about you but I am getting tired of these flash mobs. All I want to do is get in and get out of the mall with no fan fare and I would if it wasn’t for these fercockteh flash mob dancers.

Yeah, I am the rude guy who told the fat, uncoordinated man that Lady Gaga and him don’t mix well. Or maybe I was the guy who told those dumb kids that I hate The Sound of Music. I am going to remake the movie and in my version the Germans win.


Stop taking this blogging thing so seriously and just write. Tell us a story with a beginning, middle and an end. Tell us about your dreams and how you are going to make them come true. Here is an example:

I am Jack and I want to become a full time novelist. If things go the way I want I am going to become quite wealthy. I’ll own a private jet, have a yacht and build a secluded island paradise or maybe not.

What about you? What are your dreams?

This is part of Just Write .

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  1. Jeff Hugha June 26, 2012 at 5:47 am

    How hard can beginnings, middles and ends be? The experience i made: VERY 🙂 Great article, Jack. The other day i read a similar one, about Blogging and Storytelling. By Cameron –>

  2. KDillabough May 17, 2012 at 5:59 am

    Hmmmm…did I miss this post? I feel like I commented on it, or was that in my dreams? Perhaps it was when I was counting my Monopoly money and chasing my polar bear…in snowshoes;)
    First, thanks for the kind tip of the hat. I haven’t been getting to your prolific writing as often as I’d like. I just don’t know how you do it. I took my “Ernest Hemingway writing retreat”, intending to keep up the pace on the writing, but I must say: solitude certainly helped with that goal. Back in the “real world”, it takes far more diligence.Your writing is music to my ears and smiles to my heart, my friend. And if I commented on this somewhere before, I’ll just blame it on the Time Warp:) Cheers! Kaarina

    • TheJackB May 17, 2012 at 8:39 am

       @KDillabough There is a good chance that you commented upon it but that the comment hasn’t been imported into Livefyre. Technically there should be about 40 comments on this post, but they are all floating around in the ether.
       @livefyre is working on fixing the issue. I expect in the not so distant future we shall know for certain.

      • KDillabough May 17, 2012 at 9:24 am

         @TheJackB  @livefyre I thought perhaps so, because I was sure I’d commented, and when I looked at the top, it indicated 40+ comments. Then I remembered you said that some of the comments had been “lost” during transition (or translation:)In any case, better twice than not at all, right? Cheers! Kaarina

  3. Jason Konopinski April 26, 2012 at 4:06 am


    There’s a honesty about your writing that I find so refreshing. Thank you for all of it.


    • Jack April 26, 2012 at 8:45 am

      Hi Jason,

      Thank you, that is very kind. I really appreciate it. When I write here I feel compelled to share what is on my mind. I had the filter removed from my mouth a few years back so this place can sometimes be pretty raw, but I find it to be far more enjoyable.

      Hope you are having a great day.

  4. Danny Brown April 25, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    Dude, everyone knows we don’t have pet polar bears – the pee is impossible to remove from the carpets. Moose, on the other hand…

    That’s what I love about blogging – there are no rules except the one the blogger wants to make for his or her community.

    Private jokes? Running themes in the comments? Paragraphs and words that make no sense? Do it and more – readers come for you, the rest is circumstance. And elephant pee.

    • Jack April 26, 2012 at 12:13 am

      Hi Danny,

      I went to the 96 Olympics and had quite the experience with the Scotsman who sat at the bar next to me. I don’t know how we got to teasing each other, but I said that “you English folks have funny accents” and learned he didn’t like being called English. I wasn’t completely surprised, but I must admit that when he wanted to step outside I thought it was a bit much.

      Cost me a few bucks in beer but I settled him down.

      Anyhoo, that is neither here nor there and I suppose it doesn’t completely relate to polar bears and moose, but at 10 after 1 am I am too tired to care.

      What I do know is that you are right on- there are no rules to blogging that people have to follow other than those that speak to their heart. I always want to smack those who say otherwise for no other reason than just because.

      Write from within and you build your community around you. I want people who like a twisted sense of humor from a half crazed and occasionally tortured soul. Makes it much more interesting.

  5. Jens P. Berget April 24, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    I am really looking forward to read your novel, and I know you’re going to have a huge success. It’s all about keep doing what you’re doing.

    I’m actually not sure what I’m dreaming of. I just want to have fun, but being a novelist, that sounds like fun to me 🙂

  6. Elaine A. April 24, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    I’ll like your FB page if you’ll like mine. I’m totally not supposed to say that in the comments, am I? he he.

    I’ve been not taking this seriously since 2006. Okay, maybe I had a short period of taking it WAAAAY too seriously but that was dumb.

    Thanks for the laughs. Great to “meet” you and your blog. Good luck with your awesome dreams. I’m working on my photography ones. 🙂

    • Jack April 24, 2012 at 11:51 pm

      You have been blogging since 2006? You must have a lot to say or as someone said to me, a really big mouth. Of course I probably shouldn’t say that to you when I am trying to convince you to like my FB page.

      Good thing I really didn’t say that, is it working Have you forgotten yet?

      On a serious note, I appreciate your coming by and hanging out here for a bit, hope you come back real soon.

  7. Dana April 24, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    My daughter was asking me why I was laughing… a few good outloud guffaws! Had a blast reading this, and I’m not saying that because I’m Canadian. I’m thinking you better order that yacht. I’m not sure why but for some reason your book sounds so familiar to me. A deja vu kind of thing. Anyway its probably nothing. Good luck. As for your Facebook, I may have to get to know you a little better as that is quite a commitment.

    • Jack April 24, 2012 at 11:44 pm

      Hi Dana,

      I love that this made you laugh. It is a real pleasure making people smile and even better when you can make them laugh out loud.

      That yacht is going to be the setting of all kinds of fun and I promise to charge less than 100 Tooneys to go sailing on it. As a matter of fact, I’ll offer an early bird special of $50 bucks.
      Send in the cash now and you might even get an autographed picture of the Captain and Tennile. Probably won’t be your name on it, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’ll have pictures of some 70s icons,

      Pretty cool stuff.

  8. Craig McBreen April 24, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    Hey, Mr. Jack.

    Thanks for the kind mention, Sir 🙂 And you are one funny dude, I don’t care what THEY say.

    You will be a damn fine novelist, I have no doubt about that. Fer sure, fer sure 😉

    Oh yeah, I’m tired of flash mobs too unless they all wear Gaga-like meat suits. That would be cool, huh?

    • Jack April 24, 2012 at 3:29 pm

      Hi Craig,

      Much appreciated my friend. Those people don’t know what they are talking about, now do they. 😉

      One day, hopefully sooner than later the novel will come out and the real fun will begin. In the interim I am just trying to enjoy the journey.

      Got to agree that Gaga-like meat suits would make it interesting. If they didn’t dance well we could release the hounds.

  9. Justine April 24, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Vampires, zombies and werewolves? Where do I sign up for my copy?

    My story:
    My name is Justine. I was on my way to being an entrepreneur this spring so I could spend more time with my babies and then I started to do just that – see them more – and I decided to change course and do that full time instead. Same old story I suppose. But there’s a twist! I’m a vampire.

    (Most of that is true anyway.)

    • Jack April 24, 2012 at 12:57 pm

      Yep,vampires,werewolves, zombies and kids fighting to the death should be an amazing combination. 😉

      I like your story, might have to wear a turtleneck just in case. Never can tell what part is real and what isn’t. 😉

  10. Suddenly Jamie April 24, 2012 at 7:30 am

    I smiled so much as I read this that now my jaw hurts. Thanks, I needed that.
    Love your chutzpah.
    You’re definitely funnier than me. And I’m not even Canadian.
    Off to “Like” your Facebook page. I like prizes.
    And puppies.

    • Jack April 24, 2012 at 11:50 am

      Hi Jamie,

      One of my daily goals is to make people smile so I am happy to know that I can check one thing off on my list of things to do.

      Appreciate your time and I’ll look for you on the page, never know when we’ll decide to give out puppies and huge cash prizes. Or is that pictures of puppies and huge cash prizes.

  11. Judy Dunn April 24, 2012 at 6:52 am

    Haha, Jack. I have the secluded island and Bob and are are trying desperately to get back to the mainland. After about 10 years, the excitement dissipated. Now we just want to have a freaking pizza delivered or get some Chinese takeout food without taking the ferry (and raking over $100 for a hotel room if we don’t get back to the landing by the time the last ferry of the day leaves).

    I love the topic here and so glad I (belatedly) subscribed so I can get every post. And thinks for that link. (I almost didn’t see it…that’s an interesting way to do it. : ) Storytelling rules!

    • Jack April 24, 2012 at 10:44 am

      Hi Judy,

      The secluded island makes for a great lair for an evil genius. All you need to do is trade your current abode with someone who is ready to take over the world and you two can be back in the big city. 😉

      Earlier this year or maybe it was last I read a post about storytelling that I think was written by Danny Brown. Anyway, that was the one that really got me thinking about storytelling because it is true, it is what really speaks to people.

      Our history as human is nothing but storytelling.

  12. Gini Dietrich April 24, 2012 at 6:35 am

    Alright. So now we know your dream. WHEN is it going to happen??

  13. penneyfox April 24, 2012 at 5:45 am

    Hi Jack – what a freaking riot! I’m not on those list either. When I see these folks getting this blog mention award and that one, then I read their stuff and I’m like, what the huh? I have a terrible problem of comparing myself to them and why don’t I have as many followers. It can take a person down some days.

    Then I bring myself back to my reality and remember its really just what you’re talking about here – I’m a storyteller. And some days I just have to write because I can not NOT write and then I’m back at peace again.

    As for my big dream? I switched gears from the ebook and am now starting to work on an online eclass with the hopes of continuing my path to being a speaker. The book’s coming afterwards but I really want to get out there and speak more. Some days I can actually visualize the speaker moments and it makes all worth the work I put in.

    And sorry everyone for the snow up north! We’re totally loving our Florida weather 🙂

    • Jack April 24, 2012 at 7:07 am

      Hi Penney,

      Ego has destroyed many a blogger and wrecked a few days. I try hard not to compare myself to other bloggers because this wacky place we call the blogosphere doesn’t operate on logic/rational thought.

      It is like every other place people are involved, illogical and inexplicable actions across the board. Sure, there are some that are easy to see/understand but others…not so much.

      The most important thing is to have fun.

      Your dream sounds very cool. Keep pushing. There are lots of opportunities.

  14. Harleena Singh April 24, 2012 at 4:35 am

    Interesting topic Jack!

    I don’t think I can ever be a storyteller, not like you at least Jack!!

    But yes, I love sharing my own life experiences, which are really long and as good as stories with everyone. I guess anything interesting can become a story if you really keep the readers glued to your work. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    • Jack April 24, 2012 at 7:01 am

      Hi Harleena,

      You can be a storyteller. Most of this is just practice. Part of what the blogosphere provides is exposure to people we wouldn’t have ever met and a chance to learn more about places we might not see.

      I want to visit India but I can’t say when that might happen. I bet that things that seem commonplace to you might be quite interesting to people like me who have never been.

  15. Stan Faryna April 24, 2012 at 12:04 am

    Jack, you bring it all: the funny, the real, the pain, the dream, the fight, and so much more. You are the genuine thing, a great storyteller. So your mention comes as high praise.

    Thank you Jack.

    • Jack April 24, 2012 at 6:57 am

      Hi Stan,

      Thank you. I am just another dad trying to figure out how to make it all work. Fortunately I have found a few friends along the way.

  16. Andrea Roberts April 23, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    This a really a funny yet a good read. Thanks for the links by the way. Unfortunately, still haven’t really figured out what my is. Hope you’ll share yours 🙂

  17. Julie April 23, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    Ooh, cool, some new blogs to visit (like I needed more, but you know what I mean). It never occurred to me (until just now – thanks for that!) that I should want to be on someone’s list who is not another psychic intuitive – maybe I will make that a new goal, just for fun. Although…

    You will indeed be a novelist and I promise to go out and buy your book on the first day that it is published like I did for The Bloggess, plus promote it in my little corner of the world – but in exchange I beg you, do not tell long winded stories about taxidermy and ending up inside dead animals by accident. Because it’s upsetting. I am relying on you for at least one good love story.

    • Jack April 24, 2012 at 12:03 am

      Hi Julie,

      It sounds like a worthy endeavor to me. A chance to stretch your legs if you will.

      I appreciate the advice and support. I don’t know that I’ll tell to many tales about taxidermy but you never know when a dad rat might be the key to your future. 😉

  18. tommy riles April 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    Hey brother. Just wanted to say thanks so much for joining Life of Dad. Now I have returned the favor, and signed up for your newsletter. Look forward to connecting more!

  19. Kaarina Dillabough April 23, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    You rock, my darlin’ friend. I’m sending you monopoly money, a photo of the polar bear in our backyard and a huge, huge, huge smile. And my dream for today? For it to stop snowing, dammit! Luvya. Cheers! Kaarina

  20. Sandi Amorim April 23, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    I am so in on the secluded island paradise! “de plane Boss, de plane!”

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