Spit Or Swallow Meets High Performance Underwear

“Once that goes in your mouth you have two choices, spit or swallow. Stop screwing around and get it over with.”

Dark brown eyes look up at me, questioning why there is an edge in my voice.

“Don’t make me do this. I already told you that if you don’t like it you shouldn’t do it, but you didn’t listen.”

The words above my friends are not dialogue that I made up for one of my stories. It is not my shot at trying to write my own version of Fifty Shades of Grey either. I really said those words  but probably not in the context you are thinking of.

That is because I seem to be channeling my father again. It is a slightly different version from the other Spit and Swallow moment I blogged about, but similar. This time I am talking to the dog.

No one else is home so the two of us are alone and the foul beastie has managed to secure a piece of the turkey that is supposed to be part of the sandwich I am making for lunch. Most of the time he would just snap it up, but not this time.

Don’t know why, but he seems to be playing with it and I just know that if I don’t put an end to this I am going to discover that turkey in my bed or in some other unexpected place. And I know that if that is how it goes down I won’t be happy.

“Be silly. Be honest. Be kind.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am working hard to be all of those things…consistently. I am good at being silly, perhaps even great. Hell if there were a doctorate in silliness I would probably have it and a post doc too.

Honesty isn’t particularly hard for me either, but the thing is that I have become too honest. I find myself telling people what I think with a lack of diplomacy and I don’t particularly like that. I don’t like it when people say that they are telling it like it is because that really means that they are telling you what they see and that doesn’t always mean everyone sees it that way.

So I am working on being a kinder man. I don’t think that I am mean and I am willing to bet those who know me won’t say that I am…most of the time. To quote the boss there is darkness on the edge of town and sometimes I show people a side they don’t deserve to see.

This is part of why I blog. I like introspection. I like looking at all sides of myself. I like trying to figure out what drives me. The raw honesty in some of these posts is sometimes hard for me to look at. I much prefer the clown. I like being insouciant.

It is fun.

Walk through the mall with me and I can promise you that I will find all sorts of interesting ways to entertain you and I. But we’ll save those stories for now.

“Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

That’s one of my favorite quotes. I try to live that way. It is part of why I changed how I blog. It is part of why I got into other social media platforms and why I made a point to meet some other bloggers in person.

It is also part of how I got a free pair of High Performance Men’s Underwear. Yep, you read that correctly. Thanks to my Klout I received a free pair of these bad boys. I really like them but I wouldn’t ever buy a pair on my own.

Not for the current price. Hell for that much I’d expect to get something else with it, but we won’t talk about it here. This is a family blog.

Speaking of blogs this joint continues to evolve. It continues to grow. That isn’t just because I Write What I Know or talk about dying a hero. It is because I am following my passion and some of you can relate to that.

I am taking chances, like the newsletter I am starting. Have you signed up for it yet? You can do so on the right side of the page, not quite at the top. My life isn’t what I want it to be right now so I am working on changing it. That is all I can do.

Speaking of changes, someone found my blog by using these key words

the jack b blog dad bloggers hate

Got to tell you that I haven’t a clue how that came about. I am beginning to wonder if I should change my tagline to riff off of that. Might be fun to be a villain for a while. Or maybe I should just remind myself that Mr. Emerson has something to say about this too.

“To be great is to be misunderstood.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bring on the hate, bring on the happiness, bring on the love- just bring it. And now if you’ll excuse me I have to go back to working on my plan to take over the world. Cue evil laughter.

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  1. Vidya Sury May 10, 2012 at 5:15 am

    Yes, seriously, like Betsy said, I thought it was kids and medicine. Gosh, what a Mommy moment!. But on second thoughts, I did get different ideas. After all, wasn’t I the novice who was offered a sample florescent ring for a certain male body part to review? Sigh. I am almost wishing I’d written that post. 🙂
    Hmmm. I wish I’d get the full feed of your posts by email 🙂 Imagine – I am the one who’d turn up at my friend’s doorstep at 6 am with a bouquet and now, I am too lazy to travel digitally.
    Always love reading your posts, Jack!

    • TheJackB May 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm

       @Vidya Sury Hi Vidya. I can understand how someone might misinterpet this post. 😉
      I believe that you have the option of getting the full feed through Feedburner and/or the Jetpack subscription options I have on the site.
      At least I think you do, might have to double check that.

  2. CrossBetsy May 10, 2012 at 3:48 am

    Thought you were talking about children taking medicine! We’ve had such a tough week and my youngest kept spitting out his medicine on to me at 3am! What a mess! And what in the world is high performance underwear? I’ve been home for too long! HA! Funny post!
    BTW I read two posts from Twitter by you before I realized they were from last year! That’s ok, but it got me very confused. One said you had a horrible birthday. Hope this years’ was better than lasts!

  3. Joe May 9, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    You have a dog that would play with turkey rather than swallow it whole? Even the dogs are laid back in CA, I guess… 🙂

  4. Erin Feldman May 9, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    I love taking over the world!

    In all seriousness, congratulations on taking the next step toward where you want to be and what you want to do. It’s probably the hardest and most important one. It might be up for grabs with the “sticking with it” step, though…

    • Jack May 10, 2012 at 1:36 am

      Hi Erin,

      I am a big stickler for telling people that they need to sustain their efforts if they want to be successful. It applies to me too, wish that it didn’t. 😉

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