What Is The Value Of Comment Sense?

"Come, Sit, Tell Me About America..."   (#1 of 2 - a set)

What is the value of comment sense is the sort of goofy and ambiguous headline that makes my black heart go pitter-patter. I love the way it establishes a foundation to go right or left, or maybe front or backwards.

It sets a tone that is at once off key and harmonious with exactly what I want or at least what I think I want. I think about these things often because it is part of who I am.

I like to pick, poke and prod.

I want to know why some things work and others don’t. It is equally applicable to the blogosphere as to real life.

What is Comment Sense?

I guess I see it as being tied into every other conversation we have had here about comments. I see it as being part and parcel of those. If you haven’t participated let me provide you with blogging philosophy as it pertains to comments.

This is a two way street. I will write whether you comment or not but you will have no say/influence in what I write unless you comment. You will have no say in what sort of community is being built here unless you comment.

Comments are not currency. They are not a valid indicator of whether a blog is successful or not. This doesn’t mean they cannot be used as part of measuring success, just that they shouldn’t be used on their own.

My goal is to have this place function like a barbecue or cool bar. We are here to talk, hang out and get to know each other. I like it better when I know what you think, but that doesn’t mean that I am going to do what you say. It just means that I prefer to give you the opportunity to share your thoughts about the various topics we discuss/

If you act like a jerk I may help you hoist yourself onto your own petard, or I may not.

People Remember How You Make Them Feel

People tend to remember the time you made them feel stupid or helped them remember that people can be jerks. It is rarely effective to try and convince someone to change their behavior by making them feel stupid.

I have a memory like an elephant for the times it has happened to me. I try not to hold onto that sort of crazy because it serves little to no purpose. All it does is give someone free rent inside your head and the worst part is that it could be given to someone you despise.

You don’t want to give free rent to the jerks you want forget, or at least I don’t.

The kids and I talk about this more often than I wish. They ask about moving and want to know if we’ll have good neighbors or if they will be mean. I remind them they haven’t ever had bad neighbors and that there is no point in worrying about things that have never happened.

They only sort of listen to me. They are both going to public school this year and are excited but nervous. I tell them I am too, but say that I am confident in their abilities. It is true, I am.

But part of me feels badly that the end of their time at the private school has come. The dark haired beauty hasn’t had as much time there as her brother and that really hits me. I want it to be fair. I don’t want them to say one got more than the other.

Sometimes I say that and laugh because I know some people would call me a socialist or a communist for saying/thinking it. I would be the snob who told them they can complain when they understand what the words mean and why they might be important. And then I would ask them to prove they voted.

Comment Sense And Blogging

When I circle back to comments on blogs I come back to the same places over and over. Dissent is a healthy thing. We don’t always need to agree but if you don’t try not to make it personal.

Don’t make every comment an ad for your blog. Ask questions of others and answer them.

If you aren’t having fun in the blogopshere what are you doing here. Yes, it is rhetorical question.

I think I am falling asleep while writing this so I need to wrap it up soon. Today was a really good day.

My baby had her birthday and we had all kinds of fun, but even though I know her age I still can’t believe she isn’t a toddler anymore.

If you comment on my blog I will try to make a point to visit yours, but I don’t guarantee that I will get there, because sometimes I don’t.

The Summer Slowdown

The summer slowdown is in full effect. If you are new to blogging don’t freak out about the drop in traffic because it happens to most of us. The traffic on my blog is a bit lighter than normal but I expect it to pick back up when school starts again.

It happens every year and then we forget because traffic goes back up and comments mirror expectations.

What do you think?

This was part of Just Write #45.

 

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Comments

  1. I’m still struggling with commenting…and encouraging commets, or deciding if I want to pursue them! It is helpful and comforting to hear that there is an ebb and flow to visitation…and that communities can form if you nurture them: looks like you have a good community going here!
    Good luck with NaPoBloMo 2012! 🙂

  2. NinaBadzin says

    Okay, so glad you said that about summer because it really DOES feel slower. I guess it’s good that people are away from their computers and phones, right??? I should do the same!

    •  @NinaBadzin It is good to disconnect sometimes. Summer is always an odd time in the blogosphere, but since it is slower it can also be a good time to experiment.

  3. Hi Jack,

    Like you, I’ll keep writing no matter if I get comments or not. But, I do love feedback on what I write and it’s the feedback that turns me in a new direction and sometimes it’s how I think people will feel that makes me want to experiment.

  4. Hola compadre; well said. Somebody just commented on a post I did in May 2011; I had to dig back in the archives to find it. It was very, very interesting to see who my ‘regulars’ were at the time, who is still around and who isn’t. I guess we all know that one thing is certain, and that is change……just like your kids are going through, but they will do fine. Kids are very resilient………….

    •  @bdorman264 Yep, digging through the archives is like going through our high school yearbooks. You see all sorts of familiar names and faces. One day they are here and the next they are…poof.

  5. TheJackB says

    @soulati Yeah, what is the value. 😉

  6. rdopping says

    True dat. All of it. To me comments ARE currency though. The currency of active participation. I try very hard to focus on how to bring more interest to my house all in a way that won’t compromise my or your integrity.

    •  @rdopping Comments are a funny thing to me. I don’t see them as a standalone sign of success but I do see them as being an integral part of a blog.
       
      They are a big part of how we build and develop relationships with others.

  7. No comments turns a post into a monologue.Yuck. Don’t like talking to myself. I can’t grow out of my bubble unless I’m challenged with new thoughts.
    I watched my 10 1/2-yr-old on the kiddee rides at the county fair last night. It was bittersweet to see how beautiful she is and to witness her being turned away from some of the rides because she was too tall. Her childhood has almost ended. So strange.

    •  @CrossBetsy I never have understood why some bloggers turn off their comments. I understand why they might not respond to all of them. If you are receiving hundreds it becomes crazy making trying to answer them all with something of substance.
      My son and I were just talking about how he feels like time is moving quickly. The prompt for the discussion was his realization that he is older than 10.5 now. It does move faster sometimes than we might like.

  8. heathercurleenovak says

    Glad to find this post since your others all seem to have good information.  I look forward to reading em over since I am fairly new.  Just went to# BBSummit12 and they said comments weren’t everything….but oh, aren’t they? Kinda?

    •  @heathercurleenovak Hi Heather,
       
      It depends on what your goals are for your blog. Some people see comments as validating their writing/opinion and want a lot of that. Some see comments as another tool for selling sponsorships.
       
      If you know why you are blogging and what you hope to achieve it makes a world of difference.

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