A Man Crashes The Party

A man crashes the party is a good description of how I feel some days. I am a father who has a remote office and that means it is not unusual for me to take the kids to school and to pick them up.

I show up at school events during the day and sometimes I am the only dad. It doesn’t happen real often, but I am often out numbered by the moms.

Sometimes they are friendly and warm, but there are moments where I am the outsider. I am the stranger. I wasn’t pregnant. I don’t have pregnancy tales to tell.

Mine are different. Mine are about fears of being stuck on the freeway when my wife went into labor or other tales that fathers tell and that is ok.

Today I went to a Halloween carnival at my daughter’s school and smiled as I watched her run towards me. There were lots of fathers there, but not nearly as many moms. We try hard to be involved and to be different from our dads, that is not to say they were bad.

Our dads had different times to deal with and now is our time.

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if my dad could have been to more of my stuff. He was always around and he hit the bigger things, but I never saw him in the classroom like I get to go.

One day I may be at a different job and not able to do this anymore. I’ll miss it.

This is was part of 5 Minutes Friday. Details found here.

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  1. Joe October 29, 2012 at 7:57 am

    Love going to my kids’ school events! I tried to make as many as I possibly could, having a 9-5 and all. And I believe we are the first generation to have the focus on this. My dad attended few of my events, but running a restaurant made that near impossible. They were supportive for the most part, and that’s all that matters.

  2. Tim Bonner October 28, 2012 at 5:53 am

    A man after my own heart.

    I’m always outnumbered by the mums and I used to feel a little uncomfortable about it.

    Not so much any more but there can be times as you say that you definitely feel like an outsider.

    We’re definitely privileged though being able to crash the party!

    • Jack October 28, 2012 at 10:23 am

      Hi Tim,

      It is easy to feel like an outsider. The mums in my “world” aren’t necessarily uninviting or unfriendly, but it is easy to feel a bit awkward. There are moments where you walk by and conversations stop. Might not have anything to do with us, might have everything to do with us.

      I think the more they see the dads floating around the more comfortable they become.

      But it is all worth the time with our kids.

  3. Stacie October 28, 2012 at 4:19 am

    It’s awesome that you get to be so present. It’s a great gift for you and your kids!

  4. Matches Malone October 27, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    Well, my kids never want me at their school events, so, feel privileged that they allow you to show up.

  5. Frank Steiner October 27, 2012 at 8:24 am

    My father never attended school events except for graduation ceremony. I always feel that it is wrong. Anyway, I went to a school event for my daughter recently. It is great to see kids in a different environment.

  6. Betsy Cross October 27, 2012 at 3:00 am

    I don’t have the opportunity to go to half of my children’s school events! When I do, I always watch the other parents and wonder how ANY of us make it. I wonder about their lives…do they have two incomes, two cars, a house-keeper? Times have changed since I went to school and there was never an expectation (or invitation) for parents to attend. That said, it’s such a wonderful treat to see my children mid-day in a different environment. I’m left with admiration and a tinge of jealousy for the teachers!!

    • Jack October 27, 2012 at 11:36 pm

      Hi Betsy,

      You have a much larger family than I do. If I had 9 kids I would be hard pressed to make it to my kid’s events. That has to be challenging.

      If I would have had my way there would be at least twice as many kids in my house, but that is a different story.

      We do what we can and make the best of things.

  7. Jack Tyler October 26, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    I understand how it feels to be a stranger Jack 🙂 Cause me too as a father of 2 grade preschoolers, I tend to take and pick them to their school and it’s very awkward to see lots of mom around you.

  8. Julie October 26, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    That’s one major advantage I have as well. Ironically I missed the first couple of years because I was working far away, and now I am an outsider as well. However I am not sure of the merits of being an insider. Over the years as I’ve come in and out of groups, and having the advantage of knowing more or less what the score is without being told, I think it was best this way. Lovely to be with our kids, and that is all we really need (except when ours is up to something or having trouble – those are good times to have someone call you with the scoop!!) I see a lot of Dads at my place and they wisely don’t talk to the Moms.

  9. Karen October 26, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    Enjoy this season and every season being the father God has called you to be…have a blessed weekend

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